The most innocent thing that he threatens is lack of sleep and neuroses in parents. In fact, the scale of the disaster is much steeper.
Once upon a time there was a happy couple. They matured before the birth of children, gave birth to a baby. Less than a year after the wonderful event, they divorced. Such is the statistics – very often couples break up in the first year after the birth of a child. Fathers leave, unable to withstand the hardships of life with a baby crying at night and a tormented wife. This problem was taken up by scientists at the University of Pennsylvania. We decided to put a scientific basis under the statistics of divorces.
The researchers conducted a survey: 167 mothers and 155 fathers told how they felt when they stood up to the child when he was a month, three, six months, nine months and a year. And at the same time they asked to clarify how their partner shares these feelings. In particular, scientists were interested in how much parents agree with such a thesis as “My child will feel that he is abandoned if I do not get up to him at night.”
As expected, it turned out that moms have clearer ideas about how to react to night crying. If the spouse did not share these ideas, mothers felt lonely – as if they were left alone to fight for the peace of the night. Mom does not feel support, hence the alienation in the relationship and, as a result, divorce.
According to scientists, parents simply forget to pronounce such moments.
“You need to agree in advance how you will react to a baby crying at night,” says one of the scientists. – Parents should be on the same wavelength when the X hour comes.
“The health and well-being of the parents is as important as the comfort of the children,” says Professor Douglas Tati, head of the study. – Whether you get enough sleep at night or not is not the main thing. The main thing is how you feel about it. If your way of caring for your baby is stressing you, then something needs to be changed. All children will sooner or later learn to sleep on their own and without screaming. But we still have to live until that time ”,
By the way, in the West there is a practice of “sleep training”. When a child reaches a certain age, they stop approaching him at night, even if he is crying. According to experts, this is how children get used to sleeping alone, sleep longer and better. Most often, such “training” begins when the child is three months old.