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Rules for the upbringing of teacher Anton Makarenko
“You cannot teach a person to be happy, but you can educate him so that he is happy,” said a well-known Soviet teacher, whose upbringing system was used all over the world.
Anton Semenovich Makarenko was called one of the four most outstanding teachers of the XNUMXth century, along with Erasmus of Rotterdam, Rabelais, Montaigne. Makarenko became famous for having learned to re-educate street children, using his famous “three whales”: work, play and upbringing by a team. He also had his own rules that can be useful to all modern parents.
1. Set specific goals for your child.
“No work can be done well if it is not known what they want to achieve,” Anton Semyonovich justly asserted. If a child is guilty, fought or lied, do not demand from him the next time “to be a good boy”, in his understanding he is already good. Ask them to tell the truth, resolve disputes without fists, and fulfill your demands. If he wrote a test for a deuce, it is foolish to require him to bring an A next time. Agree that he will study the material and get at least a four.
2. Forget about your own ambitions
A child is a living person. He is not at all obliged to decorate our life, let alone live it in our place. The strength of his emotions, the depth of his impressions are much richer than ours. Do not seek to control the life and behavior of the child, to impose your tastes on him. Ask more often what he wants and what he likes. The desire by all means to make a child an outstanding athlete, model or scientist, whom you yourself dreamed of becoming in childhood, will result in only one thing: your child will not live the happiest life.
“Any misfortune is always exaggerated. You can always defeat him, ”said Anton Makarenko. Indeed, parents should clearly understand that they are not able to completely protect the baby from fear, pain, disappointment. They can only soften the blows of fate and show the right path, that’s all. What is the use of tormenting yourself if the child fell and hurt himself or caught a cold? This happens to absolutely all children, and you are not the only “bad parents”.
“If at home you are rude, or boastful, or get drunk, and even worse, if you insult your mother, you do not need to think about parenting: you are already raising your children – and you are raising badly, and no best advice and methods will help you,” – said Makarenko and was absolutely right. Of course, there are many examples in history when talented children and geniuses grew up among inattentive drinking parents, but there are very few of them. Often, children simply do not understand what it means to be a good person when there are constant scandals, carelessness and alcohol before their eyes. Do you want to educate decent people? Be yourself! After all, as Makarenko wrote, verbal education without accompanying gymnastics of behavior is the most criminal sabotage.
“If you don’t demand much from a person, then you won’t get much from him,” Anton Makarenko, whose pupils built high-tech electronics factories and successfully produced expensive devices under foreign licenses, authoritatively declared. And all because the Soviet teacher always found the right words in order to ignite in adolescents the spirit of rivalry, the will to win and focus on results. Tell your little one how his life will change in the future if he studies well, eats right and plays sports.
Do not try to constantly demonstrate your power, try to become your child’s friend, helper and partner in any of his undertakings. So it will be easier for him to trust you, and you will persuade him to do some not too favorite activity. “Let’s do our homework, let’s wash our dishes, let’s take our dog for a walk.” In many cases, the separation of responsibilities pushes the child to complete tasks, even when you are not around, because in this way he helps you, makes your life easier.
“Your own behavior is the most decisive thing. Do not think that you are raising a child only when you talk to him, or teach him, or order him. You bring him up at every moment of your life, even when you are not at home, ”said Makarenko.
7. Train him to be organized.
Establish clear rules at home that all family members will adhere to. For example, go to bed before 11 pm and not a minute later. So it will be easier for you to demand obedience from the child, because the law is the same for everyone. Do not follow the whimpering baby’s lead if he starts asking you to break the rule “at least once”. In this case, you will have to re-accustom him to order. “Do you want to corrupt the soul of your child? Then do not deny him anything, – wrote Makarenko. “And over time you will understand that you are not growing a person, but a crooked tree.”
8. Punishments must be fair
If the child violated the established order in the house, misbehaved or disobeyed you, try to explain to him why he is wrong. Without yelling, spanking and intimidation, “send to an orphanage.”
“Raising children is an easy task when it is done without beating the nerves, in the order of a healthy, calm, normal, reasonable and fun life. I just always saw that where education goes without stress, there it succeeds, – said Makarenko. “After all, life is not only preparation for tomorrow, but also immediate living joy.”
By the way
The rules formulated by Anton Makarenko have a lot in common with the postulates compiled by Maria Montessori, the author of one of the most popular developmental and educational methods. In particular, she says that parents should remember: they are always an example for the child. You can never shame a kid in public, instill in him a feeling of guilt, from which he may never get rid of at all. And at the heart of your relationship should be not only love, but also respect, even first of all respect. After all, if you do not respect the personality of your baby, then no one will.