Adolescents were born with smartphones and social media. This generation communicate by text as they breathe. In addition, at this time of life, friends and group are very important in their lives. It secures them and builds them. They always have something to say or to exchange. So how do you know if this behavior is becoming abnormal and addictive?

According to the survey carried out by the audit firm Deloitte in 2016 among the French, people aged 18 to 75 consult their cellphones 26 times a day on average, and for 18-24 year olds, this figure reaches 50 times. But as it is specified in the survey, one cannot determine the level of dependence only according to the time spent on the smartphone.

Health professionals start talking about addiction when a person changes their behavior and loses control of their day-to-day life. Even if the teenager spends three hours texting, if he / she is able to turn it off without a problem, that he (she) can leave the house without him for a while and that holidays, he (she) can do without it for several hours to do a sporting or cultural activity, all is well.

Since smartphones have different functions, it is important to determine what the teenager is using them for:

• Job ;
• Video games ;
• Communicate with others;
• Comment on social networks.

If the use is mainly texting, then this means that the primary use is to communicate with a specific person or people.

The investigation then begins:

• Who does the adolescent communicate to?
• Why ? Homework, friendships, love,
• Is it he who is starting out or is he in demand?
• How often, how long?
• At what time of the day ?

The answers to these questions will allow us to see factually the way in which texting is used and perhaps to find the cause:

• Devouring love story;
• Toxic friendship;
• Bullying ;
• School difficulties for homework;
• Trouble at certain times of the day.

Once the cause has been determined, it is important to have a dialogue and not to immediately confront the adolescent with his addiction. He may feel observed and betrayed. Better to be accompanied by a professional:

• psychologist;
• doctor ;
• addiction specialist.

This will allow the parent-child relationship to be preserved. The teenager will hear information differently.

If the use of texting meets a need to communicate with friends. Perhaps suggest that she see them “for real” more often to do an activity together.

Establish rules at home, valid for everyone, leaving your smartphone off from a certain time, for example.

For some people, hyper-connection has become a behavioral habit. We get up by checking who wrote a message, we spend the day checking or sending it and we go to bed with it. The cellphone has become the new security blanket, which it cannot be separated from, just like alcohol or tobacco. According to a British study, 66% of smartphone users feel pain if they have to do without them.

Clinical psychologist Stéphanie Bertholon – author of the book Live better in a stressful world (Odile Jacob, 2013) – details the phenomenon and explains that the most accurate comparison is with alcohol: “the adolescent is faced with an unconscious dependence because the practice is socially accepted”.

This type of excessive use can reflect great anxiety, the fear of being rejected, not liked, not popular. And in this case you have to work on self-confidence, stress.

Being in constant contact through texting only worsens the discomfort. In medical parlance, the smartphone sometimes becomes an object ” contraphobic », which reassures and appeases fears (of s‘bored‘êbe alone, from there‘uncertainty, etc.), but if the adolescent l‘uses too much, he maintains the‘anxiété, because it becomes more and more difficult to tolérer his émotions.

Stéphanie Bertholon gives some ideas to start disconnecting:

• The patient sets his goal: to regain power over his phone;
• Take action by removing automatic notifications;
• Identify the times when it is not useful to send texts;
• Find a place for him where he leaves him during an activity;
• Find one or more replacement activities.

This addiction can be the result of deficiencies: attachment, belonging to a group or the need for recognition. It is important to question these unconscious weaknesses with a professional in order to become aware of them. This step can allow the teenager to disconnect and especially not to replace texting with other compensatory behavior.