My child bites. How to react ?

18 months, 4 years old… At what age does a baby become a biter?

The “oral phase” is a stage in the development of the child which is between 0 and 3 years, but turns out to be more intense between 12 and 18 months. During this period, he discovers the world and its environment through the mouth, biting the things around him. Putting his rattle in his mouth and nibbling your arm therefore have the same meaning for him. Your child does not bite out of ill will, but because it is part of his development.

In addition, between 6 months and 2 years, his desire to bite can also come from a need to relieve teething, often painful.

In what situation can the baby bite others?

The situations in which your child will use their mouth to bite their parents or their peers can be related to specific reasons. Oral aggression can be linked to the child’s anger or an argument with a friend, for example. The bite can also be linked to stress or fatigue but also to joy. Baby can express it that little painful way. The bite can also be a means for baby to get the attention of his parents and get what he wants.

What to do if a child bites: put a firm prohibition

Whatever the motivation that drives him to bite, you must face the situation, intervene quickly and clearly mean with simple words to your little crocodile that you do not tolerate this gesture. Put a stop and oppose him a firm “no”, in order to make him understand unequivocally that this mode of communication is unacceptable. It is not worth asking him the reasons which led him to bite because he does not know it himself. On the other hand, depending on his age, you can then make them apologize to the bitten person. Also, never tell him that he is mean because he will then keep that image in mind and may have a tendency to want to prove you right by acting in a way that corresponds to that image.

Calming a biting child: No to dramatization

After you say a firm “no”, try to create a diversion by redirecting your biting child’s attention and teeth elsewhere. We must in fact be careful not to give too much importance to his gesture to show him that this is not how he will win his case. This type of behavior should then disappear fairly quickly. If the temptation to bite recurs, have him sit in a chair for a minute, no more, to calm him down, make him aware of his gesture and teach him to control himself.

How to stop a child biting: don’t bite him back

Some people around you will not hesitate to advise you as an effective way to bite your child back to make him aware of the pain he is causing in the other. This method is to be banned because the biting child would not understand the fact that you yourself practice a gesture that you forbid him. Moreover, by biting him, you place yourself at the same level as him, which induces a loss of authority and makes the child insecure. Finally, responding to aggressive behavior by another is the opposite of the positive example that one should give to one’s child.

Why my child scratches and bites his family or peers: a way to express his emotions

Young children cannot express their emotions (pain, anger, fears, frustrations) verbally because they do not yet master language and speech. Biting then turns out to be a means of communication with those around him, but he also sometimes uses other aggressive gestures such as pinch or scratch. When a little brother arrives, for example, your child can use this technique to show you that he is jealous. When your child is overexcited by a moment of intense play or joy, biting can also become an extreme way of his behavior in order to show you his love or to kiss you. Finally, at theage of no, around 2 years old, he can develop this reflex to assert himself, by way of opposition.

How to deal with bites in the nursery?

It may happen that when discovering the community at the nursery or at the nursery assistant, young children use their teeth against their little comrades. If this happens with the children in your care, how to react? Firstly, separate the biter and the bitten to avoid any recurrence. Then, try to understand as much as possible the context of this bite and communicate calmly with the offending child so that he does not repeat his gesture.