Will a little boy who plays with dolls necessarily be less manly, as some parents think?
M.-F. Le Heuzey:
Absolutely not. Historically, little boys have played with dolls. It’s an identification game like any other… Children play with their playmobils, they are cowboys, captains or adventurers… When they dress and undress their babies, they also often project themselves into a male role, that of the father or the doctor. In fact, we are now asking dads to participate more in the education and care of children. Why would it be shocking for a little boy to change his bather’s diaper?
But what if, on the other hand, he projects himself into a female role?
M.-F. Le Heuzey:
If he imagines himself as a future woman – “Later, I’ll be a mother” or “When I have a baby in my womb …” -, it may be a sign of a gender identity disorder. , that is, he wishes to be a girl or already considers himself a real girl in a boy’s body. We must make the difference with homosexuality, which is not a mental disorder but a choice of sexual orientation, which cannot be discussed before adolescence.
From what age can you be diagnosed with a gender identity disorder?
M.-F. Le Heuzey:
This can be seen as early as three years old. But playing with dolls is not a sufficient symptom. There is generally an accumulation of suspicious behavior. For example, the boys concerned often disguise themselves with adult women’s things: jewelry, dresses, heels… by saying to themselves: “Later, I’ll be like this. “
How to react ?
M.-F. Le Heuzey:
We must not panic. In the majority of cases, things are fleeting or may change. This is why you should not hesitate to talk to your pediatrician or general practitioner, even if the process is not easy. If necessary, they will be able to refer you to a child psychiatrist.
What is a child psychiatrist? A doctor specializing in mental disorders in children and adolescents, the child psychiatrist works in an office, in hospital or in medico-psycho-pedagogical and medico-psychological centers. |
What is the role of family structure and parental behavior in the construction of the toddler’s personality?
M.-F. Le Heuzey:
The respective positions and behavior of each within the family circle are decisive. The child will find it difficult to assume his own sex if the man does not have the good role. For example, some little boys say they want to be a woman later because they saw their father beat their mother. Men are therefore not, in their eyes, respectable beings.
The mother’s attitude is just as important: I remember a little boy in whom I had detected an idealization of the female sex … undoubtedly because his mother did not support “brutal and vulgar men who only think about nothing.” ‘to go to war’.
What is certain is that it is important not to forbid a boy to play dinette or with dolls. In fact, you might end up with the opposite result, because banning something too authoritarian can make you want to do it in secret. If he is playing with dolls, parents should simply check that the identification is masculine… and not encourage a growing fascination with feminine values. In all cases, the male figure (the father, the stepfather, the grandfather…) must, for his part, give a positive image of the man.