“My father is hopeless!” such statements can often be heard from young people who are going to become vegetarians. When trying to stick to a vegetarian diet in the family, it is almost always the father who is the most difficult to convince, usually he is the one who resists the most and protests the loudest.
After the younger generations in the family become vegetarians, it is usually the mothers who are more likely to listen to arguments in favor of vegetarianism, and sometimes become vegetarians themselves. If mothers complain, it is most often because of health concerns and because they do not know what food to cook. But too many fathers remain indifferent to the terrible life of animals, and consider the idea of ending meat-eating as stupid. So why is there such a difference?
There’s an old saying parents sometimes say to little kids when they fall: “Big boys don’t cry!” So are men and women created differently, or have men been taught to behave this way? From the very moment of birth, some boys are raised by parents to be macho. You never hear adults say to little girls, “So who’s the big, strong girl here?” or “Who is my little soldier here?” Just think about the words used to describe boys who do not fit the description of macho: sissy, weakling, and so on. This is usually said if the boy was not strong enough or showed that he was afraid of something, sometimes even if the boy showed concern for something. For older boys, there are other expressions that show how a boy should behave – he must show firmness of character, and not be a cowardly chicken. When a boy hears all these phrases throughout his life, they turn into a constant lesson on how a man should act.
According to these old-fashioned ideas, a man should not show his feelings and emotions, and even more so hide his thoughts. If you believe in this nonsense, then a man should be stern and impassive. This means that such qualities as compassion and care should be rejected as manifestations of weakness. Of course, not all men were brought up this way. There are male vegetarians and animal rights activists who are the exact opposite of the insensitive image above.
I talked with men who used to fit the description of macho, but then decided to change. One of my acquaintances liked to hunt birds, hares and other wild animals. He says that every time he looked at the animals he had killed, he felt guilty. He had the same feeling when he only wounded an animal that managed to escape to die in agony. This feeling of guilt haunted him. However, his real problem was the fact that he viewed this feeling of guilt as a sign of weakness, which is not masculine. He was sure that if he continued to shoot and kill animals, then one day he would be able to do it without feeling guilty. Then he will be like all the other hunters. Of course, he didn’t know how they felt, because just like him, they never showed their emotions. This went on until one guy told him that not wanting to kill animals is quite normal, then my friend admitted to himself that he did not like hunting. The solution was simple – he stopped hunting and eating meat, so no one needed to kill animals for him.
Many fathers, even if they have never held a gun in their lives, are still in the same confusion. Perhaps the solution to this issue must be sought somewhere in the history of man. The first humans were hunter-gatherers, but hunting was just a way to provide extra food. For the most part, hunting was an inefficient way of obtaining food. However, the killing of animals has become associated with masculinity and physical strength. In the African Masai tribe, for example, a young man was not considered a full-fledged warrior until he single-handedly killed a lion.
The main food earners were women who collected fruits, berries, nuts and seeds. In other words, women did most of the work. (Hasn’t much changed since then?) Hunting seems to have been the equivalent of today’s male pub gatherings or going to football matches. There is also another reason why more men than women eat meat, a fact that comes up every time I talk to a group of young people. They really believe that eating meat, especially red meat, helps them build muscle. Many of them believe that without meat they would be homely and physically weak. Of course, the elephant, rhinoceros and gorilla are prime examples of what happens when you eat only vegetarian food.
All of the above explains why there are twice as many vegetarians among women than among men. If you are a young lady and are either a vegetarian or a vegan, then get ready for these kinds of statements – including from your father. Because you are a woman – you are too emotional. You are not thinking rationally – this is another way to show that care is not needed. All due to the fact that you are too impressionable – in other words, too soft, docile. You don’t know the facts because science is for men. What all this really means is that you are not behaving like a “sane” (dispassionate, unemotional), prudent (insensitive) man. Now you need a better reason to become or stay a vegetarian.