Oppressing, sometimes hurtful and never satisfied … Some of us may have come across a “castrating woman” on our way. Toxic for themselves but also for their loved ones, it dominates.

The malaise of the castrating woman could, according to psychologists, come from a frustration linked to childhood. In Freud, the castration complex designates the set of subjective consequences, mainly unconscious, determined by the threat of castration in men and by the absence of a penis in women. A design taken over by Jacques Lacan.

The penis being for the boy “the primordial autoerotic sexual organ”, and this one cannot conceive that a person similar to himself is devoid of it. But the castration complex for Freud concerns the woman as much as the man. In girls, the sight of the organ of the opposite sex immediately triggers the complex. As soon as she sees the male organ, she considers herself a victim of castration. Once an adult, his sex appears to him to be disadvantaged. She was not born a little boy, a frustration that causes jealousy of men. Other causes can, of course, provoke the masculinization of women: a terribly despotic father, constantly humiliating his daughter, frustrating her and demeaning her to such an extent that hatred appears in the daughter. She then transposes this hatred to all men.

For psychoanalysis, a castrating woman is one who wants the “phallus” (power) for herself alone. She wants to master everything, to control everything. This woman is at war with the men she wants to dominate. Authoritarian, she makes them walk with a wand.

In a relationship, the castrating woman rules. To his mate, she gives the feeling that he is not up to the task, that he can never satisfy her in general. She does not hesitate to lower it, to answer for it in public. Bending the individual to his vision of things, his needs and sometimes even his most intimate and sordid fantasies, is a way for her to have the upper hand. Anyway, she’s always smarter, better than him. She prioritizes his desires, his needs without taking into account his needs at all. The castrating woman is not aware of being so. It is her nature, for her, this is the way the world is. He is constantly frustrated. An attitude that leads to mental castration that can sometimes cause impotence in men. However, when the couple settles down in the long term, the man risks trying to free himself from this suffocating bond by infidelity, without however succeeding in freeing himself from it. A castrating woman can also be castrating against another woman. The important thing is to lead the world to the wand.

This overpowered mother will have the same behavior towards her children as with men: she will constantly remind them that it is she who directs, who decides. Severe to the point of tyranny, it is closed to dialogue. With her, no discussion, resistant to any changes, she can go so far as to threaten the child if he does not obey, verbally or physically, or even to blackmail emotionally. But always thinking to do it for her good and in any case, she is convinced that her child is incapable of fending for himself.

The consequences for the child can be disastrous The castrating mother will continue to want to control the adult life of her child, she will give her opinion on the people he sees. Possessive, intrusive, she invades the private sphere of her children. Faced with possible resistance, she will get angry. The boy who will not be able to confront his mother will develop a guilt complex, a lack of self-esteem and may later be a man who will not be comfortable with women. He also risks unconsciously seeking a companion in the image of his mother to reenact the dominant-dominated relationship, which will become a toxic relationship. As for the daughter, she risks reproducing the pattern of her castrating mother. It may be necessary that at some point in their adult life, children put a certain distance between themselves and their toxic mother.

Faced with such an invasive person who wants to control everything, who takes no account of the desire of the other, whether it is a companion, a child, a friend, the discomfort sets in quite quickly. The negativity of the castrating woman, her desire for control over individuals quickly extinguishes the joie de vivre of those around her to give way to a state of gloom and annoyance and a vital energy that is vampirized. When it comes in contact with it, nothing goes, our energy centers are locked, fatigue, a taciturn mood, ruminations and negative thoughts may set in … Faced with the real danger that such an individual represents, it is important to do proof of lucidity, discernment and independence of mind. Indeed, to tie up to the dependence with a castrating personality is the worst thing to do when one values ​​life, his health, his freedom.