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Some tips to help them cope better with their allergy
According to recent research, almost 70% of parents find that allergies impact the quality of life of their children. Frustrations, isolation, fear, it is far from easy to bear. It must be said that watching your child suffer from an asthma attack can be impressive. But as Aurore Lamouroux-Delay, head of the Marseille Asthma School, underlines: “Contrary to popular belief, children with allergies are not by nature more sensitive psychologically nor more emotionally fragile than others. This is the fluctuating side of these chronic diseases, the alternation between times of crisis, unpredictable acute episodes and times “like everyone else” which have an influence on the image that children have of themselves. ”
We must not dramatize, it is essential
Asthma attacks or allergic reactions are impressive, they can even sometimes put the child’s life in danger. Suddenly, there is a dramatization of the symptom. This feeling of not being in control, of always having to be on guard is distressing for children, and for parents, who live in fear. The consequence is a tendency to overprotect their little one. They are prevented from running, playing sports, going out because of the pollen, going to the birthdays of the friend with whom there is a cat. This is precisely what should be avoided, because it may increase his feeling of being marginalized by his allergy.
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Allergy on the psycho side
How to protect and reassure without alarming? That’s the whole challenge! Although it is not necessary to dramatize, it is nevertheless necessary to make the child aware of what he is suffering from, and to help him become familiar with his illness. To prevent him from getting angry, it is important to answer your questions, to talk about them without taboos. We can use books as a support for discussions, we can invent stories to get the messages across. Therapeutic education goes through simple words. It is better to start from their own expressions, ask them first to verbalize their symptoms and their emotions: “What’s wrong with you? Does it hurt you somewhere? How is it when you are embarrassed? Then your explanations can come.
In his excellent book “Les allergies” (ed. Gallimard Jeunesse / Giboulées / Mine de rien), Dr Catherine Dolto explains it clearly: ” Allergies are when our body gets angry. He does not accept something that we breathe, that we eat, that we touch. So he reacts more or less strongly: we have a very bad cold, asthma, pimples, redness. It’s annoying because you have to look for the “allergen”, which causes the allergy, and fight it. It is sometimes a bit long. Then we are desensitized and we heal. Otherwise, we must always pay attention to certain foods, and various products that we know can make us sick. It takes courage, strength of character, but family and friends are there to help us. “
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Empower the allergic child
From 2-3 years old, a toddler can learn to pay attention. Once the allergist has determined what to absolutely avoid, you have to be firm: “That is forbidden for you because it is dangerous!” “ What if he asks the question, “Can I die if I eat this?” », It is better not to evade, to tell him that it can happen, but that it is not systematic. The more the parents are informed and the more serene with the disease, the more the children are it too. The fact of having eczema, of not eating the same thing as the others, excludes from the group. However, at this age, it is very important to be like everyone else. Parents have a job to revalue the child : “You are special, but you can play, eat, run with others! It is also important that he spontaneously discuss it with his comrades. Asthma can be scary, eczema can be disgusting … To help him cope with the reactions of rejection, he must explain that it is not contagious, that it is not because we Touch him that we are going to catch his eczema. If the allergy is well understood, well accepted, well controlled, the child lives his illness well and enjoys his childhood in peace.