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When your pregnancy test came back positive, there was only one thing you could think of, see your baby. At the time of the second ultrasound (for the lucky ones, the first ultrasound), the doctor told you that your baby was a girl or a boy. Corn, instead of jumping for joy, you felt disappointment, even apprehension, it is not what you imagined. It is true that couples who are totally indifferent to the sex of their future child are rare. Unconsciously, every person dreams of having a boy or a girl. When we analyze the dreams of pregnant women, preferences are sometimes visible. This part of the imagination is important in the course of pregnancy. Moreover, from childhood, through his dolls and soft toys, a woman constructs, in her head, the image of an imaginary child. Little boys, too, imagine themselves with a baby, like when they play mom and dad.
Baby’s gender: the causes of disappointment
All psychoanalysts agree that during pregnancy, a lot ofburied things rise to the surface of the future mother, involved: the link to his own parents. However, the sex of the baby is no exception to this rule. A woman who has had a bad relationship with her mother may both want a daughter in order to fix errors committed or, on the contrary, preferring to have a baby boy for fear of confrontation.
When the future mother is expecting a little man, it is the relationship with the brother and the father, especially if it was confrontational or very patriarchal, which can cause apprehension and fear in these women. But above all, they often wonder “how am I going to raise a boy?” “. The expectation of this baby raises many questions about the education that “should” be given. Certain family pressures can also be the cause of some stress: having a boy, for example, is perpetuate the family name, so it is very important …
Sometimes, the disappointment of the dad prevents the mother-to-be from being fulfilled and happy, she feels responsible because she could not satisfy her spouse. We make mom carry a lot of weight on her shoulders.
In video: What if I am disappointed with the gender of my baby?
Accept the baby’s gender
In general, it is more about fear and apprehension than a real rejection of the child. It is essential to understand each other better in order to have a good pregnancy, to be happy and above all, to do not feel guilty. The acceptance process will slowly begin. Imagine the baby, what you could do with him / her, talk to him / her, stroke your belly, do not hesitate to put the future daddy to work. The most important : do not steer. Familiarize yourself quietly with your little one. The most important thing is to be able to talk about it. If you are expecting a baby boy, do not hesitate to go see a friend who has one, ask her for advice. Your entourage is also there to help you, pamper you and above all de-stress you … Don’t forget the medical profession either : midwife, obstetrician and sonographer are also present to listen to you and help you in the acceptance process. No worries : at birth, your disappointment will fly away.
When the disappointment is too strong There are rare cases where the disappointment is so strong that the future mother has trouble investing in her pregnancy. It happens when they’ve been through a deuil parents or children. This feeling of disappointment is also recurrent in families where the violence has been ubiquitous. In these particular cases, and / or if the mother-to-be wishes, one (or more) interview with a psychologist is useful in order to determine where exactly this disappointment came from, and thus provide all the necessary assistance. |