Contents
- When did you decide with your partner to have a child?
- English and Dutch law allow children to have information about their donor when they come of age. Didn’t that suit you?
- In your relationship, do you share the role of father and mother?
- On a daily basis, is people’s view of your family burdensome?
- What do you think of the government project?
- Are you thinking of having a second child?
Elodie Moreau
When did you decide with your partner to have a child?
In fact, we are an old couple. We have been living together for fifteen years. From the start, the desire for a child was evident in my partner. On the other hand, for my part, it took me a lot more thinking to fight the prejudices I had about our situation. And then, after 6-7 years, we made up our minds. We have chosen Belgium for the use of medically assisted procreation. We had no preference on which one should bear the child, we are the same age, we both wanted it. We tried several inseminations, one then the other, but we both had fertility problems. After four years of trying, I got pregnant.
English and Dutch law allow children to have information about their donor when they come of age. Didn’t that suit you?
This is not the approach we wanted to adopt. For us, it was putting a weight on our son’s shoulders for eighteen years. There at least, it is clear, there is no father. We are not trying to fill this void. Nevertheless, he still has male referents, such as cousins, my brother who has four children. He also has two godfathers who have an important place. But we will explain to him without problem that a man has done a generous act to allow us to have a child. His story is something that we discuss on a daily basis with our families and friends, in his presence. He knows her even though we don’t really have conversations with him, he’s too small. However, this is present in our daily lives, we bought him little books in which the children have two mothers. We approach the thing gently.
Not at all ! On the contrary, we try to be vigilant in order to be egalitarian. We do not give ourselves a particular role. We are two women, each with their own identity. And then, whether we are a man or a woman, each of us has a feminine and masculine side. The father alone does not embody authority. We are just two moms. The most important thing for us is to provide our child with a good education, to be both in tune with what we say to him. We talk a lot.
On a daily basis, is people’s view of your family burdensome?
I don’t feel like I’m being thought about. I don’t know if people are offended by our situation, but I don’t particularly hear criticism. In fact, I have the feeling that when homosexuals have a child, they are less the target of criticism, as if they fall within the norm. On the other hand, what is burdensome is the lack of rights. For example, my partner has no legal rights to Eloi. We have the feeling that we are not like everyone else.
What do you think of the government project?
For the moment, it is not completely completed. In my opinion, it is unsatisfactory. In our situation, my partner does not become the parent. She will be forced to go through adoption, after a social investigation. It’s frustrating to always have to justify yourself. In addition, marriage is not a panacea, even if it is symbolic for some. And then homosexuals will be forced to marry to adopt …
Are you thinking of having a second child?
Yes. My partner would of course like to carry the child, but given our respective fertility problems, we will see what it is possible to do …