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The Internet is full of articles on how to help graduates prepare and put them at ease. But it’s not just teenagers who are worried and worried. How to be a parent in such a situation? How not to go crazy with excitement yourself and not drive your children crazy at the same time? The expert speaks.
“The period of exams is not fundamentally different from our ordinary life, because it’s not the parents who take the exams,” emphasizes teenage psychologist Nikita Karpov. “Therefore, if in ordinary life you have a habit of taking care of yourself and paying attention to yourself, then during the exam period you definitely should not forget about it.”
Most often, parents do not take care of themselves for two reasons: they cannot allow themselves to be distracted from the problems and affairs of the child, or they are afraid of losing control over him. Because of this, they forget both about their psychological health and about their lives in general.
Nikita Karpov is sure that parents have only two functions: to help the child … or to interfere with him: “If he cannot help, then the best option is to leave and go about your business. Don’t sound anxious, don’t make the graduate nervous.”
And if by this time the parent has not developed the habit of taking care of himself, then it will not be easy to acquire it during the exam period. But it’s worth a try!
The psychologist offers 5 steps that will help parents survive the exam time of their children with minimal losses.
1. Don’t Overestimate Exams
Exam results, the psychological and physical state of the child, his future … There are enough reasons for excitement, so the first thing a parent needs to do is to cope with their own anxiety.
Take articles that say how to help graduates during exams. It always says the same thing: “Tell him that the exam is just a point on the path, a life stage. His life does not depend on the results. Now say all this to yourself, and even better — write somewhere in large letters. And try to convince yourself of this. Or listen to the opinion of a teenager: sometimes graduates are much calmer about exams than their parents.
2. Come up with a «plan B»
To overcome anxiety about your child’s future, you can make a backup plan. That is, a specific plan of action in case your child does not receive the required number of points for the exam and «Plan A» does not work. It is desirable that you like the fallback option — otherwise there will be no point in it, because you will not deceive yourself.
3. Limit the flow of information
“They say that last year at the exam …”, “Here in a different class …”, “Why are you preparing for a different textbook?” — Parental chats are full of similar messages during the exams. What to do? Get out of them. All important information has already been announced before, so now you will not learn anything useful. It is better to limit your information field and try not to discuss exams with anyone.
4. Go in for sports
Taking care of your body is another important step towards your own peace of mind. Try any activity that involves breathing or water, such as breathing exercises, yoga, or swimming in the pool. These activities balance the state of the nervous system, soothe and give harmony.
5. Take time for yourself
Once you get over your anxiety, you can think about your own desires that are not related to the child’s exams. Sit down and write down all the things that you have long wanted to do, but could not: go to the cinema or the theater, sign up for a massage, take a walk in the park, arrange a romantic date with a partner. Or even go to another city for a couple of days if the child does not need your help. And she is needed only when he asks for her. And this should be remembered.