Contents
Your mini-tornado does not hold in place and you cannot manage its incessant and noisy agitation… Rest assured, there are effective strategies for help your electric battery to regulate its excessively overflowing energy. Follow the advice of our coach Catherine Marchi to reduce the pressure …
Step 1: I de-dramatize
Toddlers are naturally stirring: they need to crawl, touch, explore, move, run, jump, climb… Simply because it is through motor skills that they
develop their intelligence. Do you find yours particularly speedy and hectic? Rejoice because it is a intellectual awakening sign, and over the course of his psychomotor development, he will invest in calmer occupations.
You would like it to be quieter ? The first thing to do is to give him a positive image of himself. Your bulldozer is dynamic and full of life, congratulate him on his beautiful energy and rejoice because he will deploy the same vitality for learn to surpass oneself growing up. Remember, your little one’s behavior is the problem, not him. Your remarks and the way you look at him are essential for him to feel good about himself and develop good self-confidence. If you continually tell him that he is tough and is exhausting you, he will build a negative self-image, and that is the complete opposite of what you want. Accept that he doesn’t react like you. If you are more of a calm and collected nature and were a quiet child, your child is different and only looks like himself.
Above all, do not stick the label, too quickly unsheathed lately, of hyperactive child! Hyperactivity associates three symptoms : disturbance in attention (inability to concentrate), permanent restlessness and impulsivity. If your child is very active but can also sit down to listen to a story, make play dough or any activity that he likes, he is just rowdy, and you can help him channel himself.
Step 2: I try to understand why my child is so restless
To help your little cyclone calm down, it’s essential to understand why they’re so excited. Today’s parents stimulate their babies enormouslyThis is positive because they are very awake, but the negative side of overstimulation is that they get used to having activities linked together without taking the time to daydream.
Ask yourself if you are giving your child enough opportunities to do nothing: children need to be bored ! In these moments, they think and come up with ideas to take care of themselves. Check the schedule of his days. Perhaps his pace of life is too intense? Or maybe it is yours that is so frantic that you don’t have enough time to be available! Especially since you have returned to work. Restlessness is often a calling signal, a way to attract the attention of a parent who is too busy and not present enough for the child’s taste.
>>>>> To read also:Positive education is good for children
Get in the habit of plan moments just for your child in your daily schedule, even if it is overloaded. When you come home from work, for example, take a break for half an hour and play with him, before you take care of the bath and dinner, and the rest. In the morning, take the time to share a nice breakfast with the family. Discuss regularly with him the events that punctuated his day. Tell him stories in the evening at bedtime.
Another common cause of arousal is physical fatigue. If you notice that your child does not keep still when leaving nursery or school or because he has not taken a nap, it is because he is exhausted and has no cash. sleep. Be firmer on bedtime and on naps, and you will see that it will be quieter. A child can also become very turbulent when his parents or relatives experience anxiety-provoking events, a move, a loss or a change of job, a separation, the arrival of another child … If this is your case, reassure your child, talk to him, play down the situation and he will calm down.
Melissa’s testimony: “Carla and Micha need to unwind!” »
Our two children are very restless and we take advantage of the holidays to let go. Last summer, we rented a chalet in the Vosges. They went pony riding, picnics by a pond, swimming in a torrent. With their daddy, they built a hut, a bird feeder, a swing. We let them roll around in the grass, climb on the pile of wood, get dirty, run in the rain. We realized how short of space they were in our little apartment in town. And suddenly, we think of moving to settle in a house with a large garden.
Mélissa, mother of Carla, 4, and Micha, 2 and a half.
Step 3: I give it a clear frame
To encourage your child to be less restless, it is important to explain the behaviors that pose a problem and what exactly you want from him. Ask new clear rules, get on his level, look him in the eye, and calmly tell him what’s wrong. “I don’t want you running around, playing ball in the apartment, touching everything without my permission, not finishing a game you started …” And then tell him what you will prefer it to be done instead.
>>>>> To read also:10 essential facts about early childhood
Repeat the rules whenever he behaves inappropriately. It’s not going to change all at once. Explain to her that her agitation is not appreciated in society, that it disturbs her teacher, her grandparents, her nanny, other children… Teach her to think about “how to behave” in society in order to be appreciated. Crop him as often as needed while remaining zen, but don’t respond to his agitation in a repressive way, as punishments (or worse a spanking) without him understanding why it hurts will only further anchor the problem. And don’t hesitate to give him responsibilities : put the table, help you put away the groceries or prepare the meal. You will help him find a place of his own and a well-anchored role in the family. He will no longer need to run in all directions to find his place!
In video: 12 magic phrases to appease children’s anger
Step 4: I suggest interesting activities
As soon as you feel that your cyclone is gaining momentum, intervene. Let him know that you find him way too pissed off and offer him alternative activities that will interest him. It is not a question of preventing him from moving, because he needs it, but of help him channel his extraordinary energy.
As your hurricane has a desperate need to burn itself out, you can opt for outdoor physical activities, go to the park, take a walk in the forest, a game of football, the tricycle, the scooter … He will be able to use his physical energy limited in time and not non-stop.
>>>>> To read also: 5 tips to stop giving in to emotional blackmail from children
Alternating with motor activities, plan calm times where he can play with his cuddly toys and figurines, construction games. Manual activities: invite him to draw and / or paint, to make plasticine or a puppet show, to dress up. Open an illustrated book and put it on your lap so you can read it together. Sit with him to watch a little cartoon, but don’t leave it in front of the screens (TV, tablet, computer, smartphone) for hours on the pretext that he is finally keeping quiet, because that only excites him more and it is a time bomb … You can also make him a big hug in your arms because it is a very effective sedative. And if he’s up for it, suggest a little relaxation exercise (see box below). For grab his attention, light a candle and ask him to extinguish it by blowing gently on the flame several times in a row.
Small relaxation exercise
The child lies down on a mat on the floor, closes his eyes, with his blanket placed on his stomach (or a
balloon) to make the elevator go up and down! He inhales while inflating his stomach (the elevator goes up), he exhales while blowing (the elevator goes down).
Step 5: I congratulate him and I encourage his efforts
Like all parents (or almost …), you tend to to point out what is wrong and forget to mention what is going well. When your little car picks up a book, lands for an activity, stops running around when you ask him to … warmly congratulate him! Tell him he can be iron of him, possibly give it a small reward (a ride, a new book, a figurine…) to encourage him to start over. Not all the time of course, it has to remain exceptional to be motivating.
Fabien’s testimony: “After school, we take Tom to the square »
At home, Tom is a real stuntman, he moves all his toys in the living room three times a day, climbs on the armchairs, wants to change his game every five minutes… He’s exhausting! We were worried about school, but against all odds, his teacher told us that he remained seated wisely with the others, and took part in the activities with pleasure. So, we take him to play in the square to let off steam every day after school. We found the right rhythm and the right balance.
Fabien, dad of Tom, 3 years old