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The maternal instinct: a complex process
Often questioned, the maternal instinct has been debated for years in our society. Why is this subject so fascinating? Certainly by Manichaeism, to believe the child psychiatrist and psychoanalyst Myriam Szejer. « It is a way of assimilating, or not, humans to animals. But things are not that simple », Explains the specialist. ” Since human beings are mammals, we can say that the maternal instinct exists in all of us. Only, it can be modified, even disturbed, from the fact that we are speaking beings and have an unconscious. The maternal instinct is therefore expressed in a less stereotypical way than in animals. This complex process, which makes it the extension of pregnancy, is built up well before birth. ” Every woman has a history (her place in siblings, in the order of generations), and a prehistory (the history of her ancestors). All these elements will be shaped in the language and influence the way in which the young mother will welcome her child and how she will take care of it.. Indeed, the maternal instinct is reflected in the adaptability of mothering to the situation. If some of them spontaneously manage to identify their baby’s needs and respond to them, for other women, it will be more difficult, because of what they have experienced or the mental state in which they find themselves. Identifications are also very important.
Moreover, each birth being unique and having a particular meaning in the life of a woman, the maternal instinct is expressed differently with each of the children. If the mother were the second of her siblings, she will have a relationship steeped in her history with her younger brother that she will not have had with the older one.
Maternal instinct and postpartum depression
The hypermedicalization of pregnancy and birth could well influence the development of maternal instinct, according to Myriam Szejer.In industrialized societies, there are childcare or medical protocols that can disrupt the mother-child relationship. ” The rituals of the past, less medical, worked quite well in the family and cultural community. And the maternal instinct was inserted in all these points of reference. It is much more difficult today. We look at children as calibrated objects. It is no longer easy to develop the maternal instinct: medicine can sometimes worry, separate a father from a mother and ruin the relationship between mother and child. », Explains the specialist.
But postpartum depression, which affects 18% of young mothers, is one of the main causes that can hinder the mother-child bond.. Indeed, a depressed woman will find it more difficult to attach herself to her child, to take care of him. ” Everything is disorganized by depression. This does not mean that she does not have instinct, nor love. She just can’t seem to access and adjust to it, sometimes even when the child has been fully wanted. And for good reason, a difficult childbirth, traumatic episodes in the birth plan can disrupt the development of the maternal instinct. For some still, “everything collapses before the maternal responsibility », Adds Myriam Szejer.
“Psychoanalysis can sometimes help young mothers to overcome this course. But it all depends on the reasons why this link is broken. “
The maternal instinct in case of adoption
If the maternal instinct is also an extension of pregnancy, what about adoptive mothers? As Myriam Szejer explains, it can sometimes be complicated. Nevertheless, according to the psychoanalyst, all exchanges such as skin-to-skin, babywearing, etc. will influence his behavior and help him to adapt.