Couple: if we stopped living on two planets

In a couple, one is rather discreet and the other likes long speeches. Women are fond of extended shopping afternoons while men buy the first costume they try. Two sexes, two visions of the world and of life sometimes at opposite ends. How to make these differences a force? Discover the thousand and one ways to become complementary and harmonize your relationship as a couple.

He’s in the present, she’s nostalgic

Men are always in the present, in immediate action, short-term projects. Women like to dream. Men are obsessed with schedules, women like to take their time. For example, when you go on vacation, your sweetheart has programmed everything minute by minute. Departure at 5 a.m., arrival at 17 p.m. He had the car’s engine and fuel tank checked the day before. Only one idea worries him: to keep his goal. Focused on his average, he skips the lunch break and you have just five minutes off to pee. By his side, you don’t care if you arrive three hours earlier or later. The important thing for you is to take advantage of the holidays… According to neurobiologists this difference in functioning is due to the fact that we don’t have the same brains. The left hemisphere, the part of the brain dealing with rational thinking, language, reasoning, logic, deduction, analysis is more developed in humans than the right. This is why your companion is a frenzied activist who needs to keep his hands and mind busy all the time and hates downtime. In women the left hemisphere is strictly identical to the right hemisphere, the part of the brain specializing in emotional thought, creativity, artistic sense, intuition, imagination, temporality, sensitivity to duration. This is why he forgets your wedding anniversary while you remember every minute you spent with him …

He is “brut de décoffrage”, she loves to talk about her emotions

His lack of sensitivity annoys you, but that’s in the order of things. A man expresses himself through his actions. It works rationally, speaks of precise information, verifiable, quantifiable facts. If he makes a phone call, it’s to ask or say something specific. Do the same! Avoid cooking him on his feelings, his feelings, his emotions, that’s not his thing. For that, see your girlfriends! Do not ask him to tell you “I love you”, he proved it to you by marrying you, he continues to prove it to you by living with you! But still remain vigilant. When a man swears loyalty to you, it is valid the moment he says so. He is sincere in the moment, while a woman thinks in the long term, for her it is sure, he will be faithful to her forever.

He buys useful, she loves shopping afternoons

Since he enjoys being recognized for what he does and showing how well he does it, don’t hesitate to acknowledge his efforts. Make him feel that you appreciate the effectiveness and usefulness of his actions. You can force it, he loves compliments. The simple happiness of being together is enough for you, but he cannot stand inactivity together. Plan walks, biking, DIY, gardening, an exhibition, a movie, in short offer him something concrete to put in his hyperactive teeth! Another thorny subject: shopping. When a man decides to buy pants, he walks into a store, tries on the one he likes, pays and leaves. The operation lasts roughly ten minutes. If he goes to the hypermarket, he only buys what is on the list. Its credo is efficiency / performance. Spare her your endless shopping sessions, your repeated fittings, your existential questions about such a little red dress. For him, it is too great a waste of time!

He does one thing at a time, she does several things at the same time

The latest findings in neurobiology have shown that the connections between the two hemispheres (the corpus callosum) are 30% greater in the female brain. This rapid and diffuse communication between the two hemispheres has the surprising consequence that a man does one thing at a time, while a woman can do several things at the same time.. It does not attack a new problem until the previous one has been resolved. He is motivated by specific goals and the desire to achieve them. She multitasks easily and deals with issues at the same time. Concretely, this means this: above all, do not make a conversation with him when he is behind the wheel, otherwise he risks missing the motorway exit because of your fault. Speak or drive, for him, you have to choose! Unlike you who see everything that is wrong, he processes the information one by one. You may find him too rigid but he finds you too scattered. When you phone while watching the cooking dinner, it’s sure to burn. His perseverance, his stubbornness in finding the solution to a problem may annoy you, but you don’t need to want to change it, it’s impossible. Take a model from his sense of organization, you will gain in efficiency.

He’s busy with his job, she only thinks about love

Your darling spends only fifteen minutes flat on his morning toilet while every morning, you invest the bathroom: invigorating shower, moisturizing cream, slimming gel on curves … All women continue to make themselves beautiful for their husbands, despite the passage of time, they remain attractive and seductive.

This is not the case with men, who operate by objective. At the time of the encounter, their goal is to seduce their prey as quickly as possible and to be loved by them. Making her happy, pleasing her is their priority, they are attentive to her every wish. Once the goal is reached and the beauty is in love, they think they have proven their love once and for all. It’s a given, a case closed, so they move on to the next goal, usually their professional career plan. The “seduction / marriage” file is complete! Above all, do not believe that the man in your life no longer loves you because he only thinks about his job! This change of objective is not a sign of disenchantment, on the contrary, he wants to earn as much money as possible for the happiness of his family. Support his efforts. Make him understand that you would be even happier if he made the effort to re-seduce you every now and then. Teach him to pamper himself too. Cosmetic products for men are more and more numerous, it is up to you to initiate it by becoming his coach in seduction.

He’s always in the mood for love, she’s capricious

Your companion is in the morning, you are in the evening, your desires are not in sync! Is it a coincidence of nature? Not at all, in fact everything comes from chronobiology. The small internal clocks that activate the production of sex hormones and wake up our impulses vary with the seasons, hours and sexes. In men, the level of testosterone, that is to say the hormone of sexual desire and aggressiveness, is highest between 6 and 9 am, hence the famous erection in the morning … In women, hormones heat up in the evening, that’s why we feel naughty right when he watches his film of the evening. The seasons also influence our sexual urges. For women, the peak is at the beginning of spring, hence our cravings for flowery dresses and high-heeled sandals in April. In men, the peak of testosterone is around mid-August.

Another notable difference is that a woman’s sexual desire is cyclical, that of a man is continuous. You experience a peak of desire at the time of ovulation while the sexual desire of your partner is constant. Think about it when he asks you …

He is excited by novelty, she likes habits

Another essential information to know: male desire is fueled by change, in short novelty in discontinuity, while female desire is nourished by intimacy and continuity. In imagination your darling would like to make love with all the women, her sexual desire is inexhaustible, infinite. To keep it, fight against the monotony of the daily grind, preserve your mystery. Bring change in continuity. Does he want all the women? Be them all… neither quite the same nor quite another, in short surprise him! Learn to stage yourself, change your dress style, change your head. Man is a visual, his libido clings to what he sees. Dare to wear sexy lingerie, transparencies, necklines that pleasantly highlight your feminine curves. Take the initiative, show her that her body turns you on as much as when you met him, in short, be his lover, not just his wife.

He is in a hurry to wrap up, she loves foreplay

We still do not know why nature did not connect our libidos to the same tempo, but it is a fact, male enjoyment has nothing to do with female enjoyment. The pleasure of the man is fast, the ejaculation is a reflex, a few minutes are enough for him to reach the orgasm. The woman, she needs long foreplay to warm up her sensuality and so that the tension of pleasure can rise. Women who believe in the great myth of the 70s of “simultaneous orgasm” are bound to be disappointed! To make matters worse, the gap also exists after love. He has the “post coitum” rather sad or downright sleepy while she needs tenderness. Everything can be worked out as long as everyone expresses their dissatisfaction. Nothing is worse than silence, in matters of sexuality as in everything. By dint of simulating pleasure so as not to upset your partner, you will end up resenting him terribly. Open your repertoire, instead of repeating the same gestures, the same positions, hundreds of times, suggest variations. Go together to discover new erogenous zones thanks to a very simple erotic technique: reciprocal massage. With a little imagination and a lot of love, the shared pleasure is there.