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Communication with older children: features, psychology
The older the child becomes, the harder it is to find an approach to him. Communication with older children is a whole science. She can only be done by sensitive and attentive parents who respect the actions, desires and opinions of their grown-up child.
Features of communication with older children
When the child grows up, the parents must accept this. The model of behavior that was practiced at an early age, where excessive care, upbringing, moralizing prevailed, is no longer suitable. It is on this basis that many conflicts arise with adult children.
Communication with older children should bring joy to both parties
In order for communication to go well and to be pleasant to both parties, you need to adhere to the following rules:
- Advice and guidance is necessary and important, but the child will perceive them correctly only when he himself asks for help. It is necessary to give him the opportunity to show independence in solving important issues. Even if he makes mistakes, these are his mistakes, which will eventually pass into life experience.
- Do not be offended by an adult son or daughter if they do not come or call as often as you would like. The child has personal affairs, needs, family, work, etc. A calm conversation, in which the parent tries to explain that he would like to see his son or daughter more often, will give a much greater result than resentment and accusations.
- When a child leaves his home and begins an independent life, parents have a lot of free time, which they used to devote to their child. Try to take this time with something new, discover new hobbies and hobbies.
Matured children do not need guidance and morality. They can put up with it out of respect for their elders. But sooner or later, such communication will provoke a conflict situation.
The psychology of conflicts between parents and children
Most of the disagreements arise on the basis of overestimated requirements and expectations on both sides. Mom and Dad expect respect and gratitude from their children, and they, in turn, believe that parents, who have never refused them anything, should continue to indulge their whims. Not having received what he wants, the child remains dissatisfied with his parents and believes that they do not love him enough.
By comparing their lives with those of their peers, children may even blame their parents for not giving them something. And they are not interested in the reasons for such “injustice.”
Over time, grown-up children, of course, come to realize how much mom and dad gave them. After all, they give everything they can at that moment, often denying themselves their needs. To prevent this from happening too late, you need to talk to each other more, try to show calm and restraint. This will help avoid conflicts.