Children shouldn’t love their parents?

“Children are not supposed to love their parents. They will love only their children” — this is often written about. Do you agree with this? Children shouldn’t love their parents? Here are some stories from life: what do you think about them?

… Father and mother raised three sons. They are all different, but what they have in common is a reverent attitude towards their parents: all of them, having their own families, constantly come to their parents. One of them’s wife (daughter-in-law) is even jealous of his mother (mother-in-law).

… The children grew up in a prosperous family, received an education, but as soon as they “got on their feet”, they forgot about their parents — they don’t write, they don’t call, they don’t come.

… An adopted child in a family who knows about his mother, who was deprived of parental rights due to alcoholism. He does not need anything, he is loved. But he often calls his mother (biological) just to hear her voice, although she does not want to know about him.

… The children grew up in a «dysfunctional» family, were subjected to physical and moral humiliation. Parents were deprived of parental rights and the children were sent to an orphanage. Now they still love their dad and mom and look forward to every date with them.

… The woman had three girls from different men. The girls grew up and moved away from their mothers. Mom continued to lead a wild life and died in a drunken case. All three daughters came to the funeral and buried her like a worthy woman: the coffin was upholstered with velvet, the deceased was wearing an expensive beautiful dress, and they took her away to bury her where they lived.

Children shouldn’t love their parents? No matter how you answer, here you need to be specific. First, how old are the children? It is difficult to seriously expect love for parents from small children. Children can begin to love their parents only when they acquire a certain level of culture and begin to understand what love is. Secondly, it is not obvious that children should love their parents any and always. Parents are just people who sometimes suddenly have children, sometimes these parents themselves are not much different from children, sometimes they are cruel, and then read the police reports. It happens, not all parents are worthy of the love of their children.

Whether children love their parents is not an easy question. What is it like to love your parents? Like this?

It is to think about them. The question of love is the question: “Where is your soul?”, And our soul is directed to a variety of things. Sometimes our attention is drawn to the signs of cafes or shops, sometimes our thoughts revolve around “It would be nice to make repairs here” or “It already seems like it’s time to go to the doctor”, sometimes the consideration “We need to prepare for tests!” — all these thoughts are united by one thing: these are thoughts about ourselves. It is not obvious that we love ourselves here, but it is obvious that at this time there are no parents in our souls. If we call friends or wait for a meeting with a loved one, our soul is with friends or with a loved one. And how much time, how many minutes a day do you remember your parents, think about their affairs and life, look closely at their facial expressions, ask them about their well-being and affairs?

Dear children, look at what «love languages» are and think about how you express your love to your parents. Do you tell them that you love them? How do you help parents, when and how much? How much time do you spend? How do you talk to your parents? Do you listen to them? Do you share your secrets with them?

If you came home and went to your room, closing the door behind you so that you would not be disturbed, your parents do not see you, but only closed doors separating you from them. If your parents say something to you, and you brush it off or answer with a smile so that the conversation ends faster, they feel that your soul is not with them. If you discuss your questions only with your friends, and come to your parents only when the relationship is strained there or you parted with your loved one, they understand where they are for you. If you only need support in difficult situations and money from your parents, you use your parents, but this is not about love.

If you yourself begin to help your parents, these are natural moments of love. To come, help, buy, cook, clean, repair, build for them — there would be a desire, there are many opportunities. It can be big things, for example, send your parents for treatment or take a break for a dollar, it can be small things, at least call and ask how they feel.

To love your parents is to share with them what is important and interesting to you. Talk about how your day went, what made you happy and sad, what you thought about — and be sure to ask what they think about it. Parents are not just a place where you can pour out your feelings, they are people who have something to say and who are worth listening to. Your conversations are monologues or you, having said something, like to ask: “Mom, what do you think?” “Dad, do you agree with me? And how would you do it? Those who love love to talk together, love to consult and discuss. And then think about what they said, return to these conversations — because if you love, you think about those you love. Your soul is with them.

Video from Yana Shchastya: interview with professor of psychology N.I. Kozlov

Topics of conversation: What kind of woman do you need to be in order to successfully marry? How many times do men get married? Why are there so few normal men? Childfree. Parenting. What is love? A story that couldn’t be better. Paying for the opportunity to be close to a beautiful woman.