Can envy be a positive feeling?

You are expecting a raise from day to day. You’ve done so much to get things done: following all your boss’s recommendations and improving everything you could possibly improve in your work, staying late at the office and coming to work on weekends. And now there is a vacancy for a managerial position. You are sure that it is you who will be appointed — there is no one else.

But the boss suddenly announces that he has decided to appoint Mark, your young colleague, to this position. Well, of course, this Mark always looks like a Hollywood star, and his tongue is suspended. Someone like him will enchant anyone. But he joined the company quite recently and did not work nearly as hard as you. You deserve a raise, not him.

Not only are you frustrated that you were not appointed to a leadership position, but you also have a strong dislike for Mark, which you were not aware of before. You are outraged that he got what you dreamed of for so long. And you start telling your colleagues unpleasant things about Mark and dream all day about how to throw him off his pedestal instead of working.

Where does envy come from?

Envy is a complex social emotion. It starts with the realization that someone has something of value that you don’t have. This realization is accompanied by a painful and unpleasant feeling.

From an evolutionary point of view, it provides us with information about our social position and stimulates us to improve this position. Even some animals are capable of experiencing primary envy of those who are more successful.

But envy has a dark side. Instead of focusing on achieving what we want, we reflect on what we lack and resent those who have it. Envy is doubly harmful, because it makes us not only feel bad about ourselves, but also have unkind feelings towards people who have done nothing wrong to us.

Malicious and useful envy

Traditionally, envy has been regarded by religious leaders, philosophers and psychologists as an absolute evil that must be fought until complete deliverance. But in recent years, psychologists have begun to talk about her bright side. She is a powerful motivator of personal change. Such “useful” envy contrasts with harmful envy, which motivates us to harm someone who has surpassed us in something.

When Mark got the job you dreamed of, it’s only natural that jealousy stung you at first. But then you can behave differently. You can succumb to «harmful» envy and think about how to put Mark in his place. Or you can use useful envy and work on yourself. For example, to adopt the methods and techniques with which he achieved the goal.

Perhaps you need to become less serious and learn from a more successful colleague his cheerful and friendly manner of communication. Notice how he prioritizes. He knows which tasks can be completed quickly and which require full dedication. This approach allows him to keep up with everything that is necessary during working hours and remain in a good mood.

Psychologists argue a lot about the adequacy of the division of envy into harmful and useful. Psychologists Yochi Cohen-Cheresh and Eliot Larson say that dividing envy into two types does not clarify anything, but confuses everything even more. They believe that their colleagues who talk about harmful and beneficial envy are confusing the emotion with the behavior that the emotion provokes.

What are emotions for?

Emotions are special experiences, feelings that arise under certain conditions. They have two functions:

At first, they quickly provide us with information about the current circumstances, such as the presence of a threat or an opportunity. A strange noise or unexpected movement may signal the presence of a predator or some other danger. These signals become fear triggers. Similarly, we experience excitement in the presence of an attractive person or when delicious food is nearby.

SecondlyEmotions guide our behavior. When we experience fear, we take certain actions to protect ourselves. When we are happy, we look for new opportunities and expand our social circle. When we are sad, we avoid socializing and seclude ourselves in order to achieve peace of mind.

Envy is one — behavioral reactions are different

Emotions tell us what is happening to us at the moment, and tell us how to respond to a particular situation. But it is important to distinguish between emotional experience and the behavior it leads to.

If beneficial and harmful envy are two different emotions, then the events that precede these emotions must also be different. For example, anger and fear are emotional responses to threats, but fear leads to avoidance of danger, and anger leads to attack. Anger and fear are lived differently and lead to different behavioral manifestations.

But in the case of useful and harmful envy, everything is different. The primary painful experience that leads to envy is the same, but the behavioral responses are different.

When we say that emotions control our behavior, it sounds like we are weak, helpless victims of our feelings. This may be true for other animals, but people are able to analyze their emotions and behave differently under their influence. You can let fear make you a coward, or you can turn fear into courage and adequately respond to the challenges of fate.

Addiction can also be controlled. This emotion gives us important information about our social position. It is up to us to decide what to do with this knowledge. We can let envy destroy our self-esteem and harm the well-being of our social relationships. But we are able to direct envy in a positive direction and achieve personal changes with its help.

About the Author: David Ludden is Professor of Psychology at Gwyneth College in Georgia and author of The Psychology of Language: An Integrated Approach.