One of the ways of upbringing independence that has been worked out in culture is the army style of upbringing. The child is first taught to obey external orders, and then the leadership of himself is transferred into his own hands. It seems that it was precisely these mechanisms of formation of volitional qualities that Lev Semenovich Vygotsky had in mind when he formulated the law of the formation of higher mental functions: “Every higher mental function appears on the stage of a person’s life development twice: first as an external, social function, as an interpsychic function, then — as an internal, regulatory function, as the child’s internal way of thinking. Initially, the HMF is divided between the child and the adult, and after that it is internalized and carried out by the child independently. At first, the adult commands, the child learns to follow the commands, then he begins to command himself. Similarly, according to the conclusions of A.N. Leontiev, «genetically arbitrary actions arise … rather in social subordination than in subordination to objective objective conditions.»
Leontiev loved the anecdote about the officer and the batman. The batman is busy with himself and groans and groans all the time. The officer asks: “Ivan, what are you groaning there for?” — «I’m very thirsty.» — «Go, get drunk.» — «I don’t feel like going.» Some time passed, the officer in a service tone says to him: «Ivan.» «I’m listening, your honor,» the batman replies. «Go get a glass of water.» Runs, brings a glass of water. The officer says, «Drink.» He drank and calmed down.
If the officer achieves that the batman will obey him unquestioningly, then it will be enough for him to give the command: “Do not be lazy, be active and independent!” — and the batman will change his style of behavior. Perhaps for the rest of your life.
Free education and education of independence
Contrary to popular belief, free upbringing, giving the child complete independence does not at all lead to the development of independence. A child to whom you have given complete independence is just a child left to any other influences. And who is responsible for what they will be?