Contents
The fear of a large body of water
In the pool as in the big blue, our child hates going in the water. No sooner does the idea of going for a swim than he begins to pout, tense up, cry and find all the excuses not to go! And nothing seems to justify this fear …
“Between 2 and 4 years old, the child strives to structure his world into an understandable whole. He links things together: grandma is my mother’s mother; that is the nursery blanket… When an important external element intervenes in this ongoing construction, it disturbs the child. »Explains psychologist and psychoanalyst Harry Ifergan, author of Better understand your child, ed. Marabout. Thus, in the usual bathtub, there is little water and the child is reassured because he touches the ground and the edges. But at the swimming pool, in a lake or at the sea, the situation is very different!
Fear of water: various reasons
Unlike the bathtub where he is free to play, at the water’s edge, we insist that he put his floats on, we ask him not to go alone in the water, we tell him to be careful. This is proof that there is a danger, he thinks! In addition, the water here is cold. It stings the eyes. It tastes of salt or smells of chlorine. The environment is noisy. Its movements in the water are less easy. At sea, the waves can be impressive for him and he may fear that they will swallow him up. He may have already drunk the cup without our realizing it and he has a bad memory of it. And if one of his parents is afraid of water, he may have transmitted this fear to him without his knowledge.
Familiarize him with water gently
In order for your first swimming experiences to be positive, you prefer a quiet place and an uncrowded hour. We suggest making sandcastles, playing right next to the water. “Start with the paddling pool or by the sea, holding her hand. It reassures him. If you yourself fear the water, it is better to delegate the mission to your spouse. And there, we wait for the water to tickle the child’s toes. But if he doesn’t want to go near the water, tell him he’ll go when he wants. Advocates Harry Ifergan. And above all, we do not force him to bathe, that would only increase his fear … and for a long time!
A book to help them understand their fear of water: “The crocodile who was afraid of water”, ed. Casterman
It is well known that all crocodiles love water. Except that, precisely, this little crocodile finds the water cold, wet, in short, very unpleasant! Not easy …
First steps in the water: we encourage it!
On the contrary, sitting on the sand and seeing the other little ones playing in the water will surely encourage him to join them. But it is also possible that he says he does not want to go swimming so as not to be at odds with his own words from the day before. And stubbornly maintain his refusal for this reason. A good way to find out: we ask another adult to accompany him in the water and we walk away. The change of “referent” will free him from his words and he will more readily enter the water. We congratulate him by telling him: “it’s true that water can be scary, but you made great efforts and you succeeded”, advises Harry Ifergan. Thus, the child will feel understood. He will know that he has the right to experience this feeling without being ashamed of it and that he can count on his parents to overcome his fears and grow up.