Contents
Accepting negative emotions: the key to feeling good
Mindfulness
Dialogue with how we feel is the first step to take care of our emotional health
No es difícil sentirse sobrepasados por lo que sentimos. Tanto las emociones negativas, como las positivas, a veces se apoderan de nosotros y no sabemos cómo debemos gestionarlas. Pero, por mucho que los sentimientos, y los pensamientos, cobren tanto protagonismo que no seamos capaces de centrarnos en nada más, debemos ser capaces de regularlas, y nada mejor para ello que el mindfulness.
This technique consists of “bringing attention to the present moment,” that is, trying, for at least a few minutes, to focus on what thoughts live in our head and what our body is experiencing. The idea is not to try to “fix” or end these thoughts and feelings, but to acknowledge and accept them.
Antonio Gallego, mindfulness expert and collaborator
from the Petit BamBou meditation app, explains that when we find it difficult to manage an emotion, we usually speak of “difficult emotions.” These, like anticipation, uncertainty or fear, just like thoughts do, generate in us a set of physical sensations. «If we feel anxiety sentimos tensión en el cuello o en la espalda, o podemos tener dolor de tripa… Si llevamos nuestra atención plena a esas sensaciones corporales, podremos identificar qué emoción estamos experimentando», señala el experto. Comenta, que normalmente vamos por la vida con un «piloto automático» y que, cuando sentimos sensaciones poco agradables, muchas veces no sabemos reconocer su origen, por lo que entrenar esta consciencia es muy importante. «Si fomentamos la atención a nuestro cuerpo, vamos a crear un mapa de cómo nos sentimos, y con ello podremos reconocer qué sentimos, para después aceptarlo y dejarlo ir», dice.
Aceptar lo que sentimos
Esto último, el momento de aceptar lo que sentimos para después soltarlo, es esencial. Comenta el experto que no es posible eliminar una emoción we are feeling, but we can “receive the message it brings us, assimilate it and then let it go.” To do this, we must train our mind through the mindfulness technique. «The idea is not to go to the future, but to bring the emotion to the present; We not only help emotional management, it also helps in our productivity, or in our social relationships, for example ”, points out Antonio Gallego.
Normally, when these uncomfortable emotions appear, we tend to eliminate and avoid them. «At some point, from containing them so much, the dam breaks and they come out with more force, so we worry more about hiding them and we enter a vicious cycle of emotion and lack of resources to manage it that is growing, causing us great discomfort “, adds the expert.
Las emociones más incómodas
Antonio Gallego señala cuatro de las emociones «complicadas» que más nos cuesta gestionar:
— Miedo: it is a highly paralyzing emotion. In addition to blocking us, it can also lead us to flee, to avoid what we fear, causing us to never be able to face that situation.
— Ira: It is an emotion that not only hurts ourselves, but can affect those around us who are important to us. Anger has the difficulty that containing it is harmful, but removing it can also be if it is not done in the right way.
— Culpa: many times we replay over and over again in the past, as if that would change what happened. The adaptive thing in that case is to recognize and integrate a learning and move on. Guilt can also arise from feeling excessively responsible in meeting the expectations of others.
— Ansiedad: In anxiety, various emotions are often intertwined, such as fear, uncertainty, guilt, sadness … Maintained and poorly regulated anxiety can cause serious damage to our immune system, leading to more diseases.
Si sentimos alguna de estas emociones de manera habitual, y no sabemos cómo gestionarlas, lo primero que debemos hacer es darnos cuenta de que están ahí. «Hay que darle un espacio a esa emoción, aceptarla, y ponerle un coto: we can’t let the feeling overwhelm us», apunta el profesional.
«Es importante entender que no podemos saber qué va a suceder, pero si we have control over how we feel regarding the situations that occur ”, explains Antonio Gallego. For this reason, he emphasizes the importance of mindfulness as a tool to see what is “not dragging” in our mind and to refocus on the present. «This does not mean that we cannot plan, it is even necessary, but we cannot do it all day, be with him whir en nuestro tiempo de ocio; debemos acotar un tiempo del día para ello», concluye.
Tips to better relate to emotions
El experto en mindfulness Antonio Gallego deja unos consejos para aprender de las emociones y a relacionarnos mejor con tu universo emocional:
1. Find a Comfortable place to sit or lie down.
2. Take inspirations and espiraciones abdominales con los ojos cerrados, pero dejando que la respiración sea natural.
3. Take the attention to body parts que se han activado con la emoción que estás sintiendo.
4. Identifica las características de tus pensamientos: tono, velocidad, expectativas…
5. Observa si reconoces la emoción that is living inside you. As you leave space for emotion, with each exhalation, deactivate (relieve) the parts of the body that you noticed as active due to the emotion.
6. Thank the emotion for showing up, bringing its message and letting it go to move on.