😉 Greetings to regular and new readers! A sense of duty: what it is and why it does not let go of many people. Let’s try to figure it out.
Surely you had, at least once in your life, to experience an indefinite feeling when you seemed to owe something to someone. But not everyone is able to explain to themselves why such sensations arise.
What is a sense of duty
If you are constantly in a state of duty, your self-esteem drops significantly. There is a feeling of hopelessness. Such a person thinks about his own importance, and, as a rule, comes to disappointing conclusions. In his life, other people become much more important than he himself.
But each of us should live life fully and brightly, and not be in a state of mind. In a situation where a person is forced to prove his importance to others and to himself, his mental and physical state of the body deteriorates.
What do psychologists say?
Psychologists define this feeling in no other way than taking on other people’s responsibilities. Do not confuse the usual feeling of gratitude with the feeling of guilt and try to extinguish this feeling in yourself by doing their work for others.
Many people have an internal conflict of feeling and duty. In this state, a person, communicating with others, begins to feel as if he owes them something. But, as a rule, the reasons that entailed such experiences should be looked for in your childhood.
Very often, parents try to totally control their child, not leaving him the right to make any decisions himself. Constant monitoring and excessive demands can lead to the fact that the child is faced with an inability to make independent decisions in adulthood.
In childhood, his parents decided everything for him, when to rest, when to learn lessons, with whom to be friends, what to do in his free time. A child who is overly concerned about by a parent will be under constant stress.
After all, he is afraid to do something wrong and this will disappoint the caring mom and dad. And the result is often very deplorable. In adulthood, such a person subconsciously seeks help in making important decisions from others. He is not able to solve any issue on his own.
This problem will help to understand the “Karpman Triangle”, which is widely used in psychology.
What to do?
What does it take to make the pernicious sensation disappear? The first thing to decide with is those people in front of whom there is really guilt. It is worth asking for forgiveness and letting go of the situation, especially when it does not concern money. Once forgiven, the feeling of some kind of guilt will be replaced by a feeling of gratitude.
It must be remembered that no one owes anything to anyone. You shouldn’t be accommodating to other people and trying to win their approval. Everyone should understand that only in his power to give himself a feeling of happiness. Also, do not impose your opinion on other people.
Remember that, experiencing a sense of duty to his parents or a loved one, a person lives someone else’s life, not his own.
It is possible to solve this problem. It is necessary to recognize its existence and understand that only a person himself can make his life comfortable and easy. Everyone should realize that his life is only in his hands and that it must be lived with honor and dignity.
And finally, good advice: try replacing the word “debt” with the word “want.” It will become much easier for you to accept and fulfill what you consider to be responsibilities.
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