For centuries, poets and other playwrights have sung about the chaotic and random nature of love. Blind Cupid, sending arrows to the most unexpected places, sudden passion, all that.
And then it suddenly became clear that everything was wrong. American social psychologist Arthur Aron, who has been involved in interpersonal relationships and intimate psychology for the past half century, claims that you can fall in love with a stranger (and in such a way that the feeling becomes mutual) with a simple questionnaire and a four-minute game of staring. This is done in the following way. A man and a woman enter the room through different doors. They sit down at the table and take turns answering questions — 36 in total, ranging from the fairly innocent to the most specific and intimate. The meaning of the experiment is that in the process of such communication, the characters become mutually vulnerable and plunge into each other’s inner world.
We provide this list of questions, just for the sake of interest.
1. If you could invite anyone to visit, who would you invite to your house for dinner?
2. Would you like to be famous? Why?
3. Before you call, do you ever rehearse what you want to say? Why?
4. What would be your «perfect» day?
5. When was the last time you sang to yourself? What about others?
6. If you could live to be 90 years old and retain either the body of your XNUMX-year-old self or your mind, which would you choose?
7. Do you have secret knowledge about how you will die?
8. Name three things that you think bring you and your partner together?
9. What are you most grateful for in your life?
10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
11. Tell your partner your life story in 4 minutes in as much detail as possible.
12. If you could wake up tomorrow with a new quality or ability, what would it be?
13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about you, your life, the future, or just about anything, what would you like to know?
14. Is there anything you’ve been dreaming about for a long time? Why haven’t you done this yet?
15. What is the most important achievement in your life?
16. What do you value most in friendship?
17. What is the most valuable memory in your life?
18. What is your worst memory?
19. If you knew you were going to die suddenly within a year, what would you change about your life?
20. What does friendship mean to you?
21. What does love and affection mean to you?
22. Take it in turns to name some positive trait of your partner. Try to name five such traits.
23. How warm and sincere is your family? Was your childhood the happiest?
24. What do you think about your relationship with your mother?
25. Come up with three truthful «we» statements. For example, “in this room together we feel…”
26. Complete the sentence: “I wish I had someone to tell…”
27. Let’s say you become close friends with your partner. Tell him something about yourself that might be important for him to know.
28. Tell your partner about something you like about him. Be extremely honest, say something that you would not say to a casual acquaintance.
29. Tell him something embarrassing, some story from your life that you are terribly ashamed of.
30. When was the last time you cried in front of another person? And alone with yourself?
31. Tell your partner what you already like about them.
32. Is there anything you shouldn’t laugh at? What is it?
33. If you were to die now and before that you could not contact anyone, what would you regret that you did not have time to tell someone? Why haven’t you told them this yet?
34. Your home, where everything you own is on fire. Now you have already saved all your relatives and loved ones from there, and you have time for the last throw in order to save one item from there. What will it be? Why?
35. Of all the members of your family, whose death will you take the hardest? Why?
36. Tell your partner about your personal problem and ask for his advice — how would he solve it? And at the same time ask him what he thinks about how you perceive this problem?
After you and your partner in the experiment have honestly answered all the questions, you should look into each other’s eyes for four minutes. And that’s it. Are you in Love.
Basically, it looks like an interesting date plan, you should try it somehow. The main thing is to avoid alcohol at the same time and choose an interlocutor with whom, if anything, you can go to the registry office.