7 stereotypes that hurt relationships

Without trust, there is no healthy relationship. But the numerous stereotypes imposed on us by society make us question the sincerity of a partner and misinterpret his behavior.

1. The partner does not answer for a long time — it means that something is wrong in the relationship

If messages are not answered within a few minutes, we start looking for pessimistic explanations. We remember what we did wrong yesterday or a week ago, we blame our partner for callousness. And then the truth turns out: the partner was at a meeting, driving, or forgot the phone at home. Try not to jump to conclusions. Tell yourself that there are reasons for silence and you will find out about them, but later.

2. He doesn’t try to kiss me on the first date, so he doesn’t like me.

Explanations can be different: you are in a crowded place, he is waiting for the right moment, or he is afraid of your negative reaction, because he is not sure of the reciprocity of feelings or believes that kissing on a first date is bad form.

3. He doesn’t show feelings in public, which means he’s embarrassed by me.

Some people are brought up that way. My parents are of Asian origin, this is not accepted in their families. Despite family traditions, I grew up different. I like to be the center of attention, I love gentle touches, hugs and kisses. It took me a while to realize that not all people are like me and to stop being offended by their lack of affection.

4. He doesn’t want to discuss what worries me right now, which means he doesn’t care about me.

I used to think so too, and it was a cause for quarrels. I love to talk, and if I want to discuss something, I can’t wait. Gradually, I accepted the fact that not everyone is so sociable, some try not to discuss sensitive topics. There are those who like to think things through before discussing.

5. He refuses to have sex with me, which means he is no longer attracted to me.

I shared this point of view in 20 years. But now that I’m 43, I know that sometimes you can avoid sex with your loved one.

You can’t want sex all the time. There are days when we are tired physically and mentally, we are in a bad mood, we are anxious, we may not feel well. A mature, understanding partner does not take the rejection of intimacy personally.

6. He doesn’t say «I love you» so he’s not interested in a relationship.

Many confess their love not because they really love, but because «it’s time already.» And if they don’t hear in response: “I love you too,” they believe that the partner is indifferent to them. Perhaps the partner is simply not used to pronouncing such words. Don’t push him, everything has its time.

7. He is rude to others, but sweet and gentle to me — you need to run away from him without looking back

Unfortunately, this is true. This bitter truth has been verified by many, and there is not even anything to add here. Stereotypes can poison our lives. People are not required to conform to our ideas and social standards. Be patient.