Contents
- 1. He boasts about his acquaintances.
- 2. He only talks about himself and his successes.
- 3. He tries to win any argument.
- 4. He forgets you exist.
- 5. He talks bad about his friends behind their backs.
- 6. He is sarcastic, condescending, does not neglect passive aggression
- 7. He lashes out at you out of the blue.
Do we quickly understand that “something is wrong” with our new acquaintance? That he is self-centered, overly selfish, insecure, or boastful? It usually takes some time for several meetings. But it was possible to guess everything at once – by barely distinguishable, but such important signals.
“Yes, how could I not notice this! It’s obvious though! – we often complain, scrolling in our heads the history of relations with a person who turned out to be not very pleasant or did bad things to us. It seems that from the very beginning of communication alarm bells were heard, but we managed to stubbornly ignore them. Or maybe they even felt that something was wrong, but they could not properly comprehend it and explain it to themselves, and now we scold ourselves for blindness.
Don’t punish yourself. It is better to familiarize yourself with the list of signs that will help you determine from the very beginning of communication that, perhaps, the interlocutor should be avoided.
1. He boasts about his acquaintances.
Of course, each of us has people with whom we are proud to be friends, and perhaps there are celebrities among them too. However, if your new friend now and then casually mentions various “important” and famous people (or deliberately emphasizes friendship with them), this is a reason to be wary. Or the interlocutor may not personally know the specific “star”, but from the conversation it will give the impression that they at least crossed paths somewhere. Awe in front of a famous person cannot but irritate, especially if the interlocutor is not an enthusiastic 14-year-old teenager, but someone older. As a rule, such behavior hides self-doubt and the desire to exalt oneself in the eyes of others.
2. He only talks about himself and his successes.
Listening to someone who endlessly talks about himself, work and achievements is a rather tiring task, especially since most conscious adults have long known that the key to successful and enjoyable communication is the ability to listen, and try to focus on the interlocutor.
3. He tries to win any argument.
And even if no one argues with him, he still strives to emerge from the conversation as a winner. Whatever you talk about, he will have his own example – more interesting, brighter, more solid, more convincing. If he fails, he will bombard you with tricky questions, try to catch something and, in general, cast doubt on your words. Which, you see, is not very pleasant.
4. He forgets you exist.
Actually, this follows from the previous signs: such a person is too busy with himself to remember you and treat you with due attention and participation, and if he asks you a question, he rarely listens to the end of the answer. Returning from a meeting with such a person, you may think: “What was that all about? And why was I needed there?
5. He talks bad about his friends behind their backs.
We all discuss common friends with friends in one way or another – the question is with what message and what feelings. If an acquaintance in conversations with you regularly pours mud on someone (especially his friend), be sure: one day it will be your turn. The best thing to do is to immediately stop communicating with such a person.
6. He is sarcastic, condescending, does not neglect passive aggression
Such a person can tease you offensively, and at your request not to do this, he can be indignant: “Don’t you understand jokes?” But behind such jokes there is usually hostility, a desire to rise up and control you.
7. He lashes out at you out of the blue.
Today it is customary to talk a lot about hypersensitive and overly vulnerable people. There really are such among us, and their feelings should be treated with care. But there are those who will not miss the opportunity to defiantly take offense at you and unleash all the dogs on you: make a scandal or publicly scold. These are those to whom we are afraid to say something once again, because their reaction can be completely unpredictable.
Of course, none of us is perfect, we all can from time to time get carried away talking about ourselves or inadvertently joke about others. But if a person does this regularly, you should ask yourself: do you really want to get close to him, open up to him and trust the most intimate?