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Imagine that we have the opportunity to talk with a great-grandfather or great-great-grandmother, not to mention more distant ancestors. We should probably bombard them with questions! Then why do few of us ask those who are nearby – parents, grandparents? And what is the best way to start such a conversation?
Is it possible today by joint efforts to create a “worldwide archive of human wisdom” and what is needed for this? The initiators of a movement called StoryCorps believe that the easiest way is to record interviews with older family members and send them to the site. Thus, over time, a gigantic collection of such records should arise – a kind of repository of human experience and wisdom.
The idea of this project belongs to the radio journalist Dave Isai. During his life, he recorded hundreds of interviews with the most ordinary people and made sure how much it means to a person – when someone carefully and kindly listens to him. Once Dave showed one inhabitant of a rooming house a book where an interview with him was printed. He froze, stunned. And then he ran down the corridor, shouting with all his might: “I exist!”
This incident gave Dave the idea to create StoryCorps. Let a huge number of people get a chance to be heard – first by their children and grandchildren, who will record this conversation. And someday their great-grandchildren, great-great-grandchildren and even much more distant descendants will be able to hear this recording.
This is a wonderful, exciting opportunity to stay in the memory of your family for many years to come.
More than 100 thousand Americans have recorded such interviews with their loved ones, but the creator of the project wants people from all over the world to connect to it. It is quite possible that interviews with Russians will soon appear in the virtual repository.
If the idea of participating in this project does not appeal to you, there is still a deep sense in one day to sit down and have such a confidential conversation with your elders, recording it on a smartphone or a voice recorder. Here is the conversation algorithm Dave Isai suggests.
1. Tell me, what was your childhood like?
This is the best question to get your interlocutor talking. Almost all people willingly talk about childhood. “Even centenarians first of all remember their parents,” says Aisei. “These relationships are our fundamental basis, they retain their significance throughout our lives.”
For some of you, this question may seem superfluous if you have already heard some stories from your elders from their childhood. But the fact of the matter is that the answer to a direct question can reveal many unexpected things for you.
“You may think that you know very well about his past, but nevertheless there is a chance to hear something new. In any case, the essence of a person is very clearly manifested in these stories.
Aisei himself is very sorry that he did not have time to ask this question to his grandparents, and therefore he advises not to postpone such a conversation until later.
2. What were your family traditions? How did they appear?
When Aisei asked this question to his mother, she began to talk about the lullaby she once sang to him. “It had to do with our family history,” he says. “I learned interesting details about her grandparents and more distant ancestors, and it became clearer to me who we are and where we come from.”
When you consider a family tradition in this context, its meaning becomes clearer. And after that you already feel that you must continue it. “Fifty years will pass, and the next generations will pick it up, your grandchildren will listen to the story of why the family sings this lullaby or reads a prayer before they start the meal.”
3. What do you remember most from your school life?
This question may evoke memories of a school in a single room, or a school in another country. Learning more about what schools were like in the past, a young person will once again think about his present, and even his future.
“The other day I was present at one such conversation,” says Aisei. “The father, a police officer, told his daughter about how he had to fight at school.” And it became clear to the girl that both persecution and the cult of success had existed before.
Such stories help young people to go beyond their personal experience and see the world through the eyes of another. This is very important for those who are just trying on adulthood.
4. How did you meet her (him)?
This question also helps to better understand what family you come from. “What love stories can open up! Isai exclaims. “But until you ask a direct question, it can be embarrassing for relatives to talk about these topics themselves.”
Aisei remembers how he asked his great-uncle. “He talked about his first date with his future wife. Usually so quiet, he suddenly caught fire! Grandfather recalled that he made an appointment for her somewhere on 14th Street in New York. But when he saw her from afar, he suddenly panicked and began to break into some door to hide. Luckily, the door was locked. He said: “If it were open, I would ruin my life!”
Listening to these stories, you are once again convinced how much alchemy is in romantic feelings, how many amazing coincidences, what anxiety and at the same time joy these relationships are colored at any time.
5. What would you like to say to future generations?
This, perhaps, is the main one of all these questions, Aisei believes. “We kind of give a person the opportunity to turn to the future, to his distant descendants, and convey to them what he understood about life.” Even if it’s a simple thought like “be kind” or “be honest”, the person who asked this question will still get a lot out of this conversation.
“Some share regrets that they didn’t spend enough time with people dear to them, didn’t tell them what they wanted,” says Dave Isai. – When you hear this from a loved one, it resonates deep in you. Sometimes people get shocked when they hear some advice.”