You live, but you don’t feel young or old. You feel like… normal all the time. It’s just that young or old people are around you, and you are normal. And you squinted your eyes, and a tear got stuck between your lashes. And this tear is the best lens, the best optics in order to see through your whole life.
And so you lived, lived … and lived. And now you are already 20, or 25, or 30, or 35, or 40, or 45, or 50, or 55, or 60, or 65 and so on. And you live, but you don’t feel young or old. You feel like… normal all the time. It’s just that young or old people are around you, and you are normal. And at this age, you suddenly found yourself in the evening, which sculpts the windshield with snow and rain, and the “wipers” can’t cope, and from this all the evening lights stretch in jets along the windshield … And you also screwed up your eyes, and from this the lights give such long, long rays, and a tear stuck between the eyelashes. And this tear is the best lens, the best optics in order to see through your whole life.
But you rush through the evening city and drive your car … Because if you are 20, or 25, or 30, or 35 and so on years old … you must have your own car by this age! And here you are flying, and there are many, many cars around … and suddenly you will clearly, but at the same time very calmly feel that somewhere nearby in this stream at the same speed as yours … your death is rushing.
What does this death look like? This is not some scary, old, skinny woman in black clothes with a scythe. No no. This is a normal person who is also 20, or 25, or 30, and so on. He just has his own age and his own period in life. And maybe he just didn’t check the brakes, or, on the contrary, he checked, but drank vodka, because he also had a tear stuck in his eyelashes, but he doesn’t want to see through his life … But you are calm. Because… why be afraid? After all, you yourself hold the steering wheel of your car, and you are already 20, or 25, or 30, and so on. And many times you have calmly trusted your life to pilots of aircraft that you do not even know, have never seen and will not see. And dispatchers … and machinists. And if by your 20s, or 25s, or 30s, or 35s, and so on, you already have children… you brought them to doctors and gave your little man to these people…
And what difference does it make how long you lived — 20 or 25, 30 or 35, or 40, and so on, years, it doesn’t matter. It seems to you that you have been living for a very long time. Always. You are calm, you are driving. And if next to you, in your car, someone is sitting … someone … just a person, then you know that you care about his life much more than your own. And so you are calm. Although always somewhere on the side, or in front, or behind, but your death rushes nearby and at the same speed.