The hardest thing about first love is that it is impossible to forget. You never thought that such pain could even exist. But you can take this pain you’re experiencing right now and turn it into action. Let her be the force that lifts you up every day, the voice that will tell you: “Nothing and no one will make me go down,” says psychologist Brooklyn Sherman.
In my work with people who have experienced a breakup after their first love, I have found that eight times out of ten they were worried that they would never love the way they loved again. And this is true, because it will be a different, new love, but most importantly, it will be. If you think that a new relationship is when you replace the one you had before with the one you will meet, then this does not work. You will enter into a new relationship with a slightly different person, and this means that you will also be interested in a slightly different partner.
Read more:
- What are the chances of meeting the ideal partner?
It often happens that the first person we fell in love with, our first love, is not the one with whom we will be next to. I know that fairy tales tell you something else, and among those who send me their stories, there are also those who have been together since childhood, but there are less than 25% of such people.
The hardest thing about first love is that it is impossible to forget. The first wound is the deepest, as they say. The pain you are experiencing is so intense. You never thought that such pain could even exist. Before that, there were moments when it seemed to you that you were ready, like Shakespeare, to swallow poison in order to die together, so as not to live without each other. Then something changed. No matter what the reasons were, but now it seems to you that you will never be able to move on. But this is not the case. You definitely will, and you’re not the first to experience this, and you certainly won’t be the last.
I spent years regretting my first love. She really turned my whole world upside down. But I wouldn’t be who I am without it. And I didn’t know how popular my love site would become, all 27 years before. It turns out that every tear was not in vain.
Pass the tests
- Are you ready for (new) love?
You cannot return what is gone, you cannot rewind your experience and say that this did not happen to you. You will not erase what you saw from your memory even if you close your eyes. All you can do right now is take the pain you are experiencing right now and turn it into action. Your “battle wounds” will remain with you, but over time they will turn into barely noticeable scars, and you will not feel them.
After I broke up with my first love, I had other relationships. Of course, it was another love, more healthy. Nothing will ever compare to those highest peaks and those depths to which my first love lowered and raised me. But I wouldn’t want that. I had to go through this in order to change. At that time, I was completely absorbed in my feeling, I was not interested in other people, I did not want to try something new in my life. I think greatness can only be achieved after we have experienced total defeat. How would we know what strength is without knowing what weakness is? Sometimes we need to rise above our worst moments in order to create our best moments in life.
Read more:
- How do you know if it’s friendship or love?
I know that many of you read new stories on my site every day, hoping that the one will appear in your life. It will definitely happen, but first, focus on your relationship with yourself. You will not only survive everything that happened to you, you will also come out of it a stronger person. Pain makes us stronger. Feel it to the fullest and wake up stronger the next day. This is not the end, this is the beginning…
See more at project The Way We Met.