Remember who Billy Milligan is? This is a person who has suffered from a mental disorder. Diagnosis – Multiple Personality. In one of his head, 24 different people coexisted! But he has a lot in common with an ordinary ordinary mother.
A curious theory arose from a young mother … A year ago, she gave birth to a daughter, Kira, whom she affectionately calls Businka. Bead is still a baby, so Vika has just begun to make discoveries in the unknown world of motherhood. And not only to do, but also to formulate! For example, a young woman believes that every mother manages to combine the incongruous – such qualities that, it would seem, are completely incompatible.
“If Daniel Keyes wrote a book not about Billy Milligan, but about me, it would have turned out much more prosaic, but more comical and ironic … Because there are only 10 personalities in me, and they are all mothers,” she said. All these 10 mothers get along quite peacefully with each other. “But no, no, yes, and someone will raise sabotage,” laughs Victoria. Well, let’s get acquainted.
1. Mom is hot… An elderly mother with hyperprotection syndrome.
Wrapping up children is harmful. It would be necessary to temper. A child’s metabolism is higher than that of an adult, so she’s not cold, it’s cold for you, and her head is sweating.
2. Mom is cold… Mom’s twin sister is hot with the exact opposite look.
Damn, draft. Brrr, it’s cold, only 20 degrees Celsius, for July it is almost frost (checks if SMS about abnormal frosts came from the Ministry of Emergencies). It’s hot for you, but the child cannot say that he is cold. Better still put on a blouse, the heat of the bones does not ache.
3. Zen mom… A young nigga with a rarely seen feeling of shame. However, not strong.
What, daughter? Do you want to scatter the items you just ironed? OK. I will collect … then, now I will only finish building a tower of dirty dishes. What? Eating my favorite lipstick from Estee Lauder? Ok … I’ll flip through the feed on Instagram.
4. Mom is a party girl. Zen mom’s girlfriend, young, cheerful and energetic, but not too much.
Disco-disco … Vinishko-booze, girls’ gatherings, heels, cafes … Ah-ah, damn it … Kira … OK, Google, how to leave a small child alone for a couple of hours without calling an exorcist?
5. Grumbler mom… Loves order, cleanliness and hates children’s whims and pranks.
Well, e-my … I just finished picking peas from the floor, washed the walls from the marker, separated the grains from the chaff. Is it really impossible to sit in silence for 10 minutes, it seems like the second year has gone, I must understand …
6. Mom is a kite. Carries a child in his teeth, does not leave anyone, never, for anything. Itself to feed, itself to sleep, all by itself.
My darling, my, my, my …
7. Mama vanilla… Crying, sentimental, roaring with emotion at every opportunity.
Daughter’s smile is like light, the flap of an angel’s wing. How quickly it grows, you need to keep everything – a lock of hair, the first tooth, the first diaper …
8. Killer mom… A very mischievous and superstitious mother, ready to let anyone who encroached on the space of her child into the stuffing.
Don’t look askance towards my child! Not breathe! Do not shout! Do not touch!
9. Matter mother… Has a non-permanent membership in the #Yazhmothers club. He knows everything best.
Hospadaya, these mothers will kill the kids, it is necessary to process the navel with sulfuric water for the waning moon, and not for the arriving one. Now my daughter is leafing through Brodsky a year, fluently, but leafing through it.
10. And there is me, just me… Vika, who is 30 years old and # I’m an imperfect mother, I just want to sleep and be quiet.
Have you forgotten anyone? Maybe you have someone to add to the wiki list?