Why has it become fashionable to assert that a person is powerless against the “will” of his own and even artificial hormones? Is it so? And how do stereotypes harm us?
At the philistine level, the idea is increasingly heard that a person at different stages of life is “guided” by his hormones. They certainly have an impact, but they don’t “decide” anything for us.
“According to the biopsychosocial model, a person is healthy and happy if all three of his components — biological, psychological and social — are normal,” explains psychotherapist Aina Gromova. “Therefore, it cannot be argued that only one thing can have the greatest impact on the health, worldview and attitude of a person.”
According to the expert, people can believe in the total influence of hormones on all areas of life due to the fact that endocrinology has been studied more than psychotherapy and psychiatry.
We still don’t really know exactly how the mental activity of each of the billions of people is carried out, because a doctor will not be able to see disturbances at the level of nerve impulses, even if he examines a brain taken from a jar of formalin under a microscope. But to “feel” the hormones is quite real: if you take a blood test, a urine test for organic acids, you can evaluate the metabolic processes in the human body.
“Climacteric Fool”
Society easily hangs labels and stamps in those areas where quantitative and qualitative cannot be accurately measured, and emotions go off scale. It was against this background that offensive characteristics for women appeared, for example, “CMS for PMS” and “climacteric fool”, implying that they are not able to control their behavior due to hormones.
“A person is generally inclined to hang labels on others, and even on himself, but there is also the notorious public opinion,” says Aina Gromova. – Therefore, in our country, menopause occurs only in women, and we have not heard about the “climacteric fool”, although menopause also exists in men, only it is called andropause. There are practically no unpleasant conversations about teenagers, whose nervous system also reacts to changes in hormonal levels. Women get it in full … “
Contraceptive or libido?
The label was also awarded to the so-called COCs – combined oral contraceptives. Allegedly, because of their intake, women are always whiny and not in the mood, and when it comes to sex, they constantly have a headache. But that’s not all: against the background of the use of oral contraceptives, a woman can choose “not her” man. Not the one that she would pay attention to against the backdrop of her own sex hormones.
“A woman takes oral contraceptives, so she no longer wants to be intimate with her man. What a convenient explanation! Of course, hormones can influence our emotions, but the behavior of the body is controlled by the head.
A woman has a set of hormones, and they are phase-specific, that is, they are released at a certain time of life. In order for humanity as a species to survive, ovulation increases a woman’s libido so that she wants to have sexual contact during this period. But a woman will make a decision about the possibility of sex even during this period, focusing on her attitudes, the expert notes. —
We love those we love
If, due to her own attitudes, a woman does not want to allow herself sexual contact, then she will not allow it, despite the fact that she is at that moment at the hormonal peak. She would rather not break her inner taboos.
It is the same with the choice of a partner: if a woman is in agreement with herself during the period of ovulation and can afford sex, then she will choose a bright, brutal “alpha male”. And if the body does not have the task of getting pregnant and critical days are about to begin, then she will be more impressed by an affectionate, understanding partner. According to this theory, COCs should arouse in all women an interest in the second type of men, but this does not happen everywhere. Because we love those we love.
For men, everything is the same: if there is an appropriate basic setting, then even with a decrease (due to age) of testosterone, a man will be attached to his wife, whom he loved all this time. Even if he receives testosterone from the outside, for example, through a gel with its content, which is applied to the stomach, he will not begin to experience any other feelings for his wife. Because his love for this woman “lives” in his head, not in his stomach.
Profitable PMS
It’s one thing when labels are hung on us, and another thing is when we hang labels on ourselves on our own – voluntarily and not disinterestedly. For example, a woman screams at a child all day with or without reason. And she has an excuse for her own behavior: “I have PMS, I have the right!”
“The position of society regarding the so-called premenstrual syndrome is relatively new,” says Aina Gromova. – It is hard to imagine that in the 60s of the last century, women justified their behavior by the phases of the menstrual cycle. They behaved the way they actually felt. And now the popularization of certain myths leads to the fact that a woman does not want to be responsible for her behavior. She knows in advance that she will soon have PMS and everything will be allowed for her.
Emotional distortions mean that the woman’s nervous system is exhausted
At the same time, according to the psychotherapist, mood swings, tearfulness and aggressiveness a few days before the onset of menstruation are not the norm. The mood, as a separate vital function, is not “tied” to the phases of the cycle, so a healthy woman with a stable strong nervous system will not complain about emotional distortions due to the onset of a certain day.
If there are still distortions, then this means that her nervous system is exhausted. In this case, the woman may have communication difficulties, panic attacks and apathy. And she needs to deal not with PMS, but with a psychological state.
The therapist also points out that the PMS myth is convenient for men: “When a man does not like the requirements from his partner or her criticisms, he can prick her with a remark like “you just have PMS, and I suffer because of it.” Although a conflict may be brewing in this family, the words of the woman should be given serious importance.
Menopause
A special condition of a woman – premenopause and menopause are somewhat similar … to childbirth. In the sense that as a woman sets herself up, this period will pass.
“One woman goes to childbirth with the installation that she will get a new experience and the happiness of motherhood, and she will try to endure the pain calmly, if possible without anesthesia. And the other from the first day of pregnancy is sure that no painkiller will help her, – says Aina Gromova. “It’s the same with the climax. Its course largely depends on the attitude with which a woman enters this period of life.
Hormones are an important component of the body, and their balance must be controlled.
Various biopsychophysical models, individual for each woman, determine the difference in how menopause proceeds. Even one indicator, such as social level, will give a different course of menopause. A woman in abundance will take care of her health, appearance, nutrition, find time for hobbies, travel. A woman exhausted by three jobs will experience completely different sensations and emotions at this time than one who has everything in order with finances.
An attempt to explain all life’s problems by a lack or excess of hormones only says that a person relieves himself of responsibility for everything that happens. And this is also from the realm of labels – the desire to eliminate all problems with one solution.
Of course, hormones are an important component of the body, and their balance must be controlled. But man decides his own destiny. We cannot exclude periods of hormonal changes from life, but we can correctly assess these periods and accompany them with creative, positive thoughts and an optimistic attitude.
About expert
Aina Gromova – psychotherapist. Her .