Until now, self-satisfaction is often considered a manifestation of selfishness: when one of the partners gives himself pleasure, the other is dissatisfied with it. It’s a pity: from this “lonely” occupation, the pleasure of two can be born.
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Today, masturbation is no longer as taboo as it used to be. No one thinks anymore that you can go crazy or get sick from it. Moreover, sexologists argue that it is even useful, because it allows you to know your body and thereby contributes to the flowering of sexuality.
Approximately 90% of men and 60% of women have ever masturbated, and over the past 30 years, the number of masturbating men has increased by 17%, and women by 37%.
But autoeroticism – this is the term often used to refer to the masturbation of psychoanalysts – in front of a partner can still cause shock.
Masturbation is not at all a substitute for an awkward or inept partner – it is simply one of the elements of normal psychosexual behavior, one of many opportunities to hasten the “moment of the last shudders.” Our bodies know what they’re doing when they need it!
And yet, from the point of view of the pleasure received, masturbation is inferior to ordinary sex with a close partner: it is he who brings the greatest pleasure, the greatest relaxation. Therefore, masturbation cannot replace therapeutic help for men and women who are experiencing sexual problems.
“In the course of therapy, it can become a tool that helps to master the “technique” of pleasure, to be more attentive to your body and sensations,” says sexologist Mireille Bonyerbal. “If we dare not touch ourselves, what will help us to understand how best to touch another?” The easier it is for us to treat our own body, the more generous we will be towards ourselves and towards another.”
See the most intimate
Since men are much more voyeurs than women, it is easier for them to give masturbation an erotic meaning.
“With all the women I’ve loved, there’s always been a moment where I’ve asked them to masturbate in front of me,” Kirill, 32, confirms. – I like to see how they caress their chest, stomach, thighs, then get to the most sensitive places. No two women masturbate the same way, just as no two clitoris are the same.
It is very beautiful, very exciting, and when I feel that a woman is already close to orgasm, I attach mine to her hand to feel her pleasure on my fingertips. And then I penetrate her, pretty quickly, and some women have two or three more orgasms in a row. It’s very exciting!”
Women can also enjoy watching their partner.
“During foreplay, I regularly masturbate in front of my wife,” admits 38-year-old Pavel. “It’s not the same as masturbating alone. It really is a connection, we really are together, because her gaze is turned to me and because at some point I ask her to take over the baton.
And by the way, after watching me – even if at first she did not like it very much – my wife became much more skillful.
Those who dare to take such openly narcissistic pleasure in front of another, reveal to him something hidden, deeply intimate. And this is exactly what in love can be called a precious gift …