The inner child lives in every adult — this is our creativity. If you have a reduced ability to create, if you are afraid and do not know how to dream, if you block self-expression and the implementation of your own ideas … Just support him.
I have a habit of looking at people. I recently rode the subway and looked at my grandmother and grandson. And my grandson looked at me. Grandmother noticed this and defiantly said loudly: “Muscovites have a bad habit of looking at people like this (and goggled). This is not appropriate!»
The message was intended for me, but my grandmother did not dare to say it to my face, but looked at her grandson. I didn’t mind at all that he looked at me, I was pleased with his interest. But the boy immediately cringed and looked away from me.
This is how adults cut off children’s creative intentions to explore the world and interact with it. You can’t look at people, but, in fact, why? Why should ordinary research interest be considered unacceptable and indecent?
If the inner child is weakly manifested in you personally, it is worth not once or twice, but many times to show him that he is very important to you, and to allow much of what was previously forbidden for him. I offer you several exercises to connect and strengthen the position of the inner child. They are taken from the book «The Way of the Artist»1 and creatively redesigned by my inner child.
Resurrecting buried dreams
Remember what you loved as a child and what dreams you had. To do this, close your eyes and focus on your breathing. Feel your center, breathe into it, and then enter into it and find yourself in childhood. Stay there as long as you need, remember your favorite activities, hobbies, friends and fantasies. Then come back to the present moment and write:
- Five hobbies that interest you.
- Five subjects or courses that you enjoy.
- Five skills you would like to master.
- Five activities that once gave you pleasure.
- Five things that seem attractive to you, but don’t do them.
“What would I do if I could do everything?”
Review the list from the previous exercise. These are the taboo activities that your inner child would love to do. It just can’t, because your inner critic doesn’t have permission. He, just like before dad, mom, grandma or grandpa, says that normal, well-mannered, decent, adequate people should not do this.
To break down these barriers that prevent the fulfillment of desires, it is enough to create a list of forbidden pleasures. Hang this list in a prominent place. Ask yourself, «Why not?» You have grown — now you can pay for these classes and ensure their safety. Check if it’s time to act?
- Skydiving, scuba diving. Why not? «It’s dangerous,» the critic replies. But you are an adult and you can do everything to protect yourself.
- Belly dance, latin dances. Why not? «It’s indecent,» the critic replies. But you are an adult and want to demonstrate your femininity and sexuality. This is normal for an adult woman.
- Publication of own poems. Why not? «It’s a show off,» the critic replies. But you are an adult, and it is your responsibility to express your self and present the products of your creativity to the world.
- Buying a drum kit. Why not? “It’s loud and violates the borders of the neighbors,” the critic replies. But you are an adult and can not only take care of soundproofing, but also take responsibility for possible conflicts.
- Cycling in France. Why not? “It’s expensive, you don’t have a passport, you will get lost,” the critic replies. But you are an adult and you can solve all these problems: earn money, get a passport and take a good map or navigator with you on the road.
creative walk
Choose one of the activities that your inner child loves and go on a creative walk where he can fulfill his desire.
Pamper him. On the way, buy him everything he asks for — ice cream, balls. Pick up from the ground everything that he likes, everything that arouses his interest — pebbles, coins, nails. Take him wherever he asks — to modeling or painting, to the zoo, to the museum, to the deserted beach.
Give him plenty to do what he wants — draw in the sand, sculpt on a potter’s wheel, stare at people, drive boats through puddles. Write down all the creative ideas that your inner child comes up with.
Go on creative walks at least once a week — make them a priority and don’t let your inner critic deprive your inner child of this pleasure.
Support any manifestations of your inner child so that he is not afraid to develop. Development, not perfection, is what matters. In short, do what he wants, ensuring the safety of these activities through the internal adult. And then your inner child will begin to gush with creative ideas and provide you with irrepressible energy to implement them.
1 D. Cameron «The Way of the Artist» (Gayatri, 2015).