How many times have we told ourselves not to worry while waiting for the results of tests, exams, medical studies? However, psychologists say that worrying is the best way to cope with the stress that comes with anticipation.
“Don’t worry, you’ll definitely do it!”, “Who, if not you, should be hired for this job!”, “It can’t be that the doctors found something serious!” This is how we calm ourselves and our loved ones, trying not to worry, waiting for news that may completely change our lives. Moreover, the more we wait, the more we try not to worry, and the more often it turns out the other way around. But there is good news – psychologists say that you can and should worry.
Pass the tests
- What will be your talisman in the new year?
- Are you ready to go on an adventure?
- Are you an anxious person?
A recent study by psychologist Kate Sweeny, a professor at the University of California, found that the more nervous a person is about expecting something, the more prepared they are for the outcome, whatever it may be.1. For this study, Kate Sweeney and her colleagues interviewed 230 law graduates who had just passed their qualifying exam, the results of which they would not know until four months later. It was for this period of time, when a person has already done everything that was required of him, and he can only helplessly wait for the results, that Dr. Sweeney’s research was focused. She was able to find out that those graduates who were more nervous were mentally prepared for rejection, and were also more happy about the good news, unlike their more calm comrades.
“Ideally, we should not feel negative emotions when we worry about the outcome,” says Julie Norem, professor of psychology at Wellesley College. “But here’s the paradox, without negative thoughts, we are less psychologically prepared for the announcement of the results.”
Read more:
- I hate waiting!
Kate Sweeney agrees with her, who in her latest study proved that a person who unconsciously expects a bad development of events feels much stronger while waiting than when he learns the news itself.2.
So what were the law graduates doing during the agonizing four-month wait? Did they do anything to quell their anxiety?
Young people tried to make time run faster: they went to yoga and sports, watched several seasons of the series at a time, met with friends, drank. The study found that passive activities, like watching TV, had little to no distraction from excitement, unlike tidying up the apartment or even playing video games. The study participants were divided into three categories. Some tried to suppress their fears. “Not the best method,” warns Kate Sweeney. “The more you try to ignore them, the more anxiety they cause you.” Others tried to look at what was happening from a positive point of view. “They tried to get something good even out of a bad event,” comments Kate Sweeney. “For example, they assured themselves that they would gain valuable life experience from it.”
Read more:
- It’s better to expect only the best
The third group of graduates tried to think for the best, but prepare for the worst. These people worried constructively, using the mechanism of “defensive pessimism” (the official name). They plunged headlong into the whirlpool of experiences and periodically emerged from there with excellent, albeit random, ideas. One way or another, no one managed to completely cope with anxiety.
“Those participants who easily survived the wait were simply crushed by the bad news,” explains Kate Sweeney. “And if they got a positive result, they didn’t rejoice at it in full force.” But their colleagues, although they tormented themselves for all four months, steadfastly accepted their failure, learned the necessary lesson from it, and also rejoiced to tears at their victories.
Keith Sweeney also reminds that joyful anticipation can sometimes increase the feeling of happiness many times over when achieving the desired goal. And although anxiety brings not the most pleasant emotions, in itself it is not a negative feeling. How can you not worry while waiting for something important?
See more at The New York Times.
1 K. Sweeny et al. «Two Definitions of Waiting Well», Emotion, October 2015.
2 K. Sweeny et al. «Is Waiting the Hardest Part? Comparing the Emotional Experiences of Awaiting and Receiving Bad News», Societe for Personality and Social Psychology, November 2015.