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We spend at least forty hours a week on it: sometimes in a state of constant stress, often without being able to achieve our desired goals. Is it possible to change the situation without changing the place and sphere of activity?
The idea that work should bring joy is relatively new. For much of human history—indeed, ever since Adam and Eve were expelled from paradise and doomed to earn their daily bread by the sweat of their brows—work has been perceived at best as an inevitable duty, at worst as a curse. And today, most people on the planet are happy if they just manage to find a job, while thinking more about money and stability than about happiness.
However, this is not at all a reason to put up with the routine, boredom and stress at work, putting an end to your desire to enjoy it. To strive to make your work an important and meaningful part of life is a natural desire of modern man. And in order to achieve this, it takes relatively little: to recognize that the work we do today has many virtues and is not inferior to other occupations. There are no uninteresting professions in the world, and the joy that we can receive from our own depends primarily on ourselves.
The myth of calling
Things do not add up, the boss is dissatisfied, and colleagues, on the contrary, radiate energy and enthusiasm. If this situation drags on, it is difficult to resist the thought: “Probably, I made a mistake with the choice of specialty.”
In fact, when choosing a future profession, we often focus not so much on our true desires, but on the ideas of our parents, the current situation on the labor market, and other circumstances. But even if the chosen occupation does not correspond to our aspirations, this is not a drama at all: today it is not only impossible, but not necessary, to determine the type of one’s activity once and for all.
“Some people spend their whole lives clarifying the meaning of the concept of “vocation,” says Russian representative of the International Coaching Federation (ICF) Svetlana Chumakova, “and from time to time they ask themselves: “I have achieved a certain goal, but what does this mean for me and what am I going to do next?” ?
The desire to change the field of activity seems strange to many: we regret the time and effort spent on education and mastering basic labor skills, and we are afraid of losing what we have already achieved in the professional field. At the same time, the science fiction writer Ivan Efremov predicted that a person of the future would master at least three professions in his life – and today there is less and less incredible in this statement.
“We still largely retain epic thinking,” says coach and business consultant Leonid Krol. – Learned – go to work, and then you will be sent to a well-deserved rest. And we do not dare to make our life from the epic a collection of stories.
A person can have one calling at 25 and another at 35. You have to try yourself in different things, and not necessarily at the cost of five years of education. In life, there should be many short trips, hobbies, you need to try new images and study yourself in different ways.
Remind yourself
To avoid dependence on work and feel like not only an employee, but also a person, you should ask yourself the question several times a day: “What do I really want now?” “Often we find ourselves “assigned” to our work and forget who we really are,” comments Leonid Krol. “At the same time, a person who knows what he wants at the moment goes to another level: he himself formulates questions and answers them, becoming his own master.”
The second way to constantly keep in touch with your inner world is to include in the surrounding space things that are not related to work. It can be photos of loved ones on the desktop or a favorite book hidden in one of his drawers – something that will allow you to forget about professional problems for a while.
“The world is trying to conquer a person,” says Leonid Krol, “and in this way we seem to put ourselves and our dream above the sea of problems raging around.”
Understand your needs…
And if we are not yet ready to find a new occupation? You can successfully look for the “other self” in the existing job – for this you need to figure out what we still like about it. Let’s try to figure out our own parameters of good work and separate them from those that were cultivated in our family.
“My grandfather went to work at eight in the morning all his life,” says 23-year-old Olga. – And when I found an excellent home-based job, my grandmother and mother could not come to terms with this for a long time. They were sure: if I don’t go to work on the first trolleybus, this is a bad job.”
To understand what you personally mean by the concept of “good work”, list its features. Do you want to help others or seek recognition? Have a free schedule or a car with a driver? This list will also let you know about your unmet needs: for status, respect for others, or a sense of freedom.
“Dream” a job for yourself, advises Leonid Krol. – Think carefully about all the details: a large or small team, what the boss looks like, where the workplace is located, what instructions are given. First, an ideal job is described in this way, then a good one, and finally an acceptable one. And if at first you wanted your boss to know eight languages, then by the end, you might agree to just a polite person. By drawing these mental pictures, you help yourself accept reality.”
…And come to terms with the rejection of them
When a job meets our basic needs and expectations, we feel comfortable. And if this does not happen, we inevitably experience frustration and stress.
“When I got a job, I was told that I could stay at home two days a week,” complains 26-year-old Lina. “But I have to work a full week. My presence in the office is necessary, but I still feel very hurt.”
Reality rarely meets all our desires: freedom is poorly compatible with stability, and power is poorly compatible with the possibility of direct and easy communication with others. To avoid disappointment, we need to calmly part with some part of our desires.
“Choosing one thing, we invariably refuse the other,” says Svetlana Chumakova. “But rejection won’t hurt if we realize that the choice is our own.”
Define unacceptable
Finding out what exactly is absolutely unacceptable for you in the professional sphere is no less important than deciding on your own expectations and wishes. As you draw an image of your ideal job, identify what you are not going to tolerate.
“Each person can set their own limit of patience and further build their behavior, referring to it,” says Svetlana Chumakova. — For example, a day he is able to withstand one big scandal with his superiors or three small ones with colleagues of equal status, but no more. And, if the level of stress at his job exceeds what he agrees to, it’s time to take action.
Everything has its time
Anyone who brings work home or before going to bed will certainly “lose” work situations in his head, risks his health: an excessive dose of business worries is fraught with deep depression. This conclusion was made by psychologist Sabina Sonnentag from the University of Konstanz (Germany), who studied the behavior of 87 representatives of various professions.
Those of the respondents who worked longer than others and experienced heavy workloads could not forget about work in the evening, and as a result, they felt tired and were constantly in a bad mood. The psychologist warns: “He who is constantly busy with work may suddenly find himself incapable of doing it at all.”
Get away from stress…
What to do if the stress level at work becomes unbearable? There are only three options: reconcile (to the detriment of yourself), leave or try to turn the tide. If you have chosen the third way, begin to act before overwork deprives you of strength.
“We must learn to be aware of our emotions and cope with them,” advises Svetlana Chumakova. You can meet with your superiors and discuss the current situation. You and your manager need to understand what each of you expects from the other, and then discuss what you can give to the organization and what you cannot do.
However, stress is not always unambiguously harmful: in a competitive environment, it can serve as an additional incentive for development.
“Ask yourself: what gives me stress? – offers Svetlana Chumakova. Does he destroy me or fuels my interest in what is happening? And if it is a natural part of my work, what ways can I choose to respond to it?
… And out of boredom
Boredom occurs not only when we have nothing to do. This feeling is due to a lack of motivation, and there can be several reasons for this: the routine nature of the work, a priori lack of interest in it, or lack of respect for the organization in which we work.
But we still have the opportunity to treat our work with great enthusiasm. The main thing is to say goodbye to the myth that we could find something more interesting and suitable for us elsewhere: what makes work exciting is our perception. Suffice it to recall the janitor from the notebooks of Sergei Dovlatov, who, looking at the garbage, figured out what apartment he was from, thereby proving that there is a place for creativity in any business.
“A financial manager in his fantasies can see himself as a jazz musician, but at the same time understand that he needs to provide for his family,” says Svetlana Chumakova. “Therefore, he needs to understand what value the existing work represents for him now, how it can be connected with his dream, and on the basis of this, find new, unexpected angles in his occupation.”
To overcome boredom, we must try to creatively approach the task entrusted to us: for example, to invent another – faster, more efficient, or even just more aesthetic – way to do it. Having overcome our own inertia, we will have the moral right to challenge our superiors: “Give me the opportunity to show what I can do, or try something else.”
Dare to leave
Sometimes we have to take a decisive step: we do not see benefits in our work, improvements are not expected, which means that we have only one thing left – to leave. This decision can cause fear: what if the right job is no longer available to me? What if I overestimated my abilities and have to pay for self-confidence? However, this line of thought is not the only one possible.
“Why not consider your departure as an exit to another level? Leonid Krol suggests. – At some point, you need to understand: who is more – me or my work? If a person considers himself greater than his work, he is not afraid of losing it.
Leaving your old job involves looking for a new one, so it’s worth remembering what makes us attractive in the eyes of a potential employer. We can understand this more clearly by asking ourselves: how valuable am I to the organization I’m going to work for? What are my strengths and weaknesses? What are my growth prospects? The answers to these questions at the right time will remind us that our abilities and vitality will allow us to maintain mobility in the labor market.
“People who know what they want and know how to properly present themselves are more likely to find a job to their liking,” says Leonid Krol. Finally, consciously parting with an unsuitable place for himself, a person receives an incredible sense of freedom and inner renewal as a reward. After all, professional life – like life in general – never stands still.
Women start… and win
In order to successfully realize oneself in work, a person needs to possess certain qualities. Social psychologist Takhir Bazarov is convinced that they are more characteristic of women.
Psychologies: What qualities help us succeed in our work?
IQ ceases to be the main indicator of the effectiveness of a specialist. Its place is taken by EQ – the coefficient of emotionality associated with imagery of thinking and flexibility of behavior – qualities that are more inherent in women.
A typical example: men rarely allow themselves to communicate with subordinates in a friendly way, while women leaders understand that it is possible and necessary to help each other regardless of the difference in official position – it is this strategy that ensures the greatest efficiency of the team today.
There is another difference: a man is more likely to encourage an employee who has the necessary skills, and a woman will be interested in a person with “burning eyes”, who is highly motivated, and, as practice shows, this is a more successful position for modern business.
Are women becoming more and more serious competitors for men?
In one of my trainings for top managers, there is such an exercise: on a large sheet of paper, we write out 40-50 reasons that make people behave in a certain way in life, and each participant chooses the ones that are closest to him. Now in the top five motives women have a career and money, while men have love, family and a dream.
Successful men have worked too hard for the past 15 years and have developed a need for peace. In addition, women in business feel freer than men: formal status is not so important for them. Moreover, if a woman does not have a career, she will take care of the house, and few people will condemn her for this, and this is not accepted among men.