Women who heard the diagnosis: cancer. Five amazing stories

I heard the diagnosis of breast cancer at the age of 38 and if someone had told me a moment earlier that I was sick, I would not have believed it, because I was convinced that what, what, but health, I have steel … Active, athletic, healthy diet, rarely ill , with no family history of breast cancer. I found the one-centimeter nodule myself, even though the ultrasound examination eight months earlier showed nothing disturbing. The second biopsy confirmed the black scenario: Luminal carcinoma B, G3, (ki90%), which meant that the tumor was growing very rapidly (centimeter per month). I couldn’t believe it, because I was in great shape, without any ailments, and as confirmation I went to the Tatra Mountains to run to Kasprowy Wierch. «Cancer is cured!» – I heard from my mother! At the time, I did not think that these words would be salutary for me, because they would affect my positive attitude to treatment. In addition, I found a great team: from doctors to volunteers, rehabilitators, psychologists and nurses. Lack of contraindications allowed a conservative surgery. During the treatment, I did not completely give up my sports passion: I ran, walked in the mountains, climbed. It helped to survive the pain of the chemotherapy treatment and to bring my thoughts in order. However, my friends from my hometown, alpine club, association gave me the greatest strength. It was with their help that I climbed my Everest. And although I know that the most difficult thing in the mountains is a safe return, through cancer I understood that you should let go of many things, think, stop and appreciate life here and now! The photo session, as part of the #pomacajsie campaign, helped people to believe again in themselves, in their body and femininity.

Exactly five years ago I had to go through it … In fact, we had to, because my husband Michał shaved my hair. I remember – he left the bathroom and did not talk to anyone that evening, he experienced it terribly. I couldn’t look in the mirror for some time, but I explained to myself that there is no need to get depressed, you have to pull yourself together and go forward. I have to get it right, I have children. As I write this, a tear is in my eye because I try not to remember it. In fact, within a month of my diagnosis, I lost my hair, eyebrows, eyelashes, sense of security, and a normal life. We had to go through something we don’t wish anyone else. I had barely finished the treatment and it turned out that I was sick again … My hair has just started to grow back, and here I have to shave again … Only this time I felt sorry for it. I have undergone all treatment chemotherapy, surgery, radiotherapy, whatever is in my hair, we cut off … After the second treatment all nails fell off … I remember wearing patches on my fingers because I was ashamed of it … People can be terrible and look at your hands with disgust (e.g. you are standing at the cash register in the store – the cashier’s face is priceless). Today I would like to tell you that if you are in a similar situation, believe that you can do it. I will not tell you how it will be for you, because each of us, patients, is different, experiences it differently. I don’t like when someone says it’s gonna be okay and you mustn’t cry. How do you know that? Everyone can cry, and sometimes they even have to cry. Look for support from people who have gone through it (Silesian League Against Cancer), do not read stupid things on the Internet, make a list of questions to your doctor and ask during the visit! Now you are the most important, you have to undergo treatment and return to normal life. That’s right, get back to normal life! All healthy, young and more who read this … Remember about preventive examinations. I was healthy once, too, just like you. Why did I get sick? Early detection saves lives‼ ️

Cancer and I met in May 2002, that’s when I got my biopsy result – cancer cells. Shock, disbelief – why me? God, you are testing me again! Myasthenia gravis, and now “this”. Very bad thoughts were swirling in my head, I couldn’t sleep, eat, think positively, talk … I only thought about what it would be like, how long will I live! I was furious with God for being so unfair. Then I started a new life in fear, anxiety and helplessness – me, 39 years old and death before my eyes. Everything was blossoming around, just like in the spring. My Favorite Tulips! And I have one thought that this is the end of my adventure here, and yet it is so beautiful here. If it were just me, I might have given up, but I had two wonderful beings, my daughters. The younger one was not 13 yet and the older one was 16. The thought of having to leave them did not allow me to give up. The day before going to the hospital to have my breast removed, in the evening I was saying goodbye to my left breast while taking a bath in the bathroom. This was the last time I saw myself complete. I did not realize that a radical mastectomy and removal of lymph nodes would be such a huge problem … Hand not functional, you have to exercise, massage, otherwise it swells. I swell all the time, even massages don’t help. I’m less fit, curve. The first year after the operation was very hard. I was living behind glass, four red chemicals every three weeks. After the first, all my hair fell out everywhere. Enormous pain, humiliation. I went to the second one wearing a wig, a week before three I had almost no nails, and I was just celebrating my 40th birthday. I was afraid to go to three o’clock, as I thought about muscle pain and vomiting. After three o’clock I didn’t have a period. And where is my femininity in all of this? Fourth was on September 1. Instead of going to school with the kids, I was puking in the bathroom. After treatment, I gained 20 kg. Terrible. 17 years have passed, I am healthy. Will I go into remission? Who knows that? Doctors say the cancer always comes back sooner or later, but I believe I said goodbye to him forever.

At the age of 27, I found out that I had fallen ill. I never expected this to happen to me. In retrospect, I recall that there were some symptoms already. But at 27, will anyone think that they can get such a serious disease? That hair loss or fatigue could be a symptom of cancer? I worked, I studied, I blamed everything for exhaustion. I started to act quickly, diagnosis, surgery, then chemotherapy. Soon after, I was bald, sick and exhausted by two operations and four rounds of chemotherapy. But I lived for it. I got a chance for a whole new life. Every day I had a choice: to ponder the burdens of cancer therapy or to enjoy the very fact that I was alive. It wasn’t easy for me. It felt like I was living in the book “Where’s Waldo?”, But instead of looking for a strange guy in a striped hat, I was trying to find something positive on the day when the food had a metallic taste, I returned every meal, strangers stared and I did not recognize myself. Five years after the operation is considered the time when a man coped with the cancer. After six years, I found out that I had lung metastases. But I don’t give up, cancer can’t handle me that easily. Cancer first took away my health, strength, faith, energy and freedom. But he gave something more – he taught me how to stop the “hamster wheel” – when you walk slower, you are able to notice more detail around you. I’ll never waste 5 minutes thinking about crap again. If I can see with my eyes, hear with my ears, I have two arms and two legs, I can speak, write, sing, dance, march (OnkoMarsz) and sail (OnkoRejs) by myself … it means that I LIVE and I can EVERYTHING! It was the moment when I started living again. My eyes widened and I found myself stagnant. It had to be changed. I started to set goals and take challenges! And the most important thing is that I started to make my dreams come true, because you never know what tomorrow will bring…. Cancer made me realize that life is not a dress rehearsal, it is happening HERE AND NOW. I’ve never asked myself WHY me? Rather, I asked WHAT? Today I know – to look at life differently, appreciate it and remember what is REALLY important in it … Even now, since last October I have been living with the awareness of spreading the disease (lung metastases), I am not giving up! My head is full of plans and dreams. I liked everything that brings with it a bit of adrenaline, although it is hard to find anywhere else than in the word CANCER / SCIENCE and the related medical procedures, not fully understandable to an “ordinary” patient. Because how to explain the fact that a drug that can help is not reimbursed and its purchase is beyond financial possibilities? It’s like passing a sentence to myself every day… I don’t know how my way will end yet, but I am writing this with the hope that I will be able to finish this chapter. Let my words be a driving force for other sick people. Don’t give up, despite the logs under your feet. This is your life, so make your dreams come true! STUDY YOURSELF! FEEL YOURSELF!

It is definitely not cancer. You are too young. It is probably the channel after feeding my son that was blocked – these words in December 2015 did not arouse peace. I kept looking. On March 11, in the oncology office, I heard: you have a malignant breast cancer. The tumor is large, the entire breast will need to be removed. I asked the doctor how much time I had left … I won’t talk to you like that …. I’ll explain everything to my husband. On March 31, 2016, surgery to remove the breasts and lymph nodes. At home, a nine-year-old and an eight-month-old baby I can’t handle. Tears, fear. What will happen to me, what will happen with them when I’m gone? And I think I have to live – fight for health and life. Four red chemicals and twelve white ones. I am already wearing a wig for the communion of my older son. Chemistry is a pain, but I work all the time and I think that the disease should have the least impact on my relatives. I treat each infusion as a battle with a manure that has entered our lives uninvited. For almost two years, I don’t want to talk about the disease. I don’t want to hear about relapses, death, pain and suffering. In the meantime, I am getting married to a wonderful man who has been my great support in every day of my illness. We are buying a bigger apartment. I am in control and everything is fine. I wake up every morning and thank God for each healthy day. I stop living in constant rush. I’m starting to appreciate every child’s smile, every moment with my family. The slightest ray of sunshine and any storm. In August 2018, I am setting up a support group for the Amazons on FB. I cry and enjoy the girls. We all have the same ups and downs. The group gives strength and allows for wonderful long-term friendships. We have this power, we have this power. I have been taking an antihormone for three years, after which I have gained weight. I have a breast deficiency complex. My husband never makes me feel less attractive, even though I know my body has changed. In October 2018, I am starting an arduous reconstruction. The session you are watching took place a few days after the last operation. Thank you to the exceptional women from #pomacajsie for making me feel sexy. Each of our stories shows that strength is a woman.