“This is a common opinion that is not substantiated by anything,” says French psychoanalyst and sexologist Catherine Blanc. “In fact, a woman has many other opportunities to know her sexuality.”
“This advice is most often given to women who do not enjoy sex. The idea that everyone simply has to get it goes back to the origins of sexology, when male doctors talked about female sexuality based on their scientific experience, mixed with their personal ideas about sex — controlled, reactive, clearly visible. It seems that women, barely freed from the centuries-old ban on the expression of sexuality, should now submit to the new dictatorship of men. So, a woman should experience her sexuality in a way used by the other sex? But this is just ridiculous! To limit the possibilities of women to masturbation is to deny the specifics of her sexuality, mysterious and sensual. When desire first awakens in a little girl (at the age of three to six or seven years), she feels the need for some kind of “load” on the genital area. But not necessarily touching — this is the period of playing on a swing, riding a bicycle … In adolescence, girls discover their own erotic experiences: they tell exciting stories, emphasize their femininity — clothes, hairstyles, smiles …
Some never masturbate at all! And it is the search for an emotional component that will underlie their thirst for affection.
But this is not about some kind of ban on masturbation and not about the fact that it is the privilege of men. Masturbation is an expression of freedom and independence. It allows a woman to discover new facets of her own sexuality and receive confirmation of her ability to experience pleasure. In addition, self-satisfaction helps to get rid of the feeling of self-doubt, which still possesses those who are waiting for a man who can awaken and open them. But the pleasure of masturbation has nothing to do with the ability to surrender to the caresses of a man. Enjoying masturbation and enjoying sex are very different things. Sex is a type of communication in which there is a place for a variety of emotions. And these emotions are an important component of pleasure and orgasm.