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When a woman presses and manipulates, she does not see it, therefore she does not perceive herself from the outside. She is in feeling and just reacting or just educating.
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Anya is a decent loving woman and a very sincere person. See how she almost constantly presses and manipulates.
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Fragment from the conversation. Evgenia does not hear how she accuses her husband in her speech.
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Women can do everything. At the very least, women can behave differently: sometime like a woman, sometimes like a woman, sometimes like a man.
When I talk about women in this article, I’m talking about women’s behavior, women’s type of life. Feminine is gender, not sex. Many women live not like this or not only like this, but according to the male type. Sometimes, like women, behave and men. But most women behave according to the female model: this corresponds to their nature, this is how they were brought up. Real women can behave like a man, but more often they behave like a woman, and especially often in relation to relatives and in raising children (see →).
So, by nature, women in close relationships are always kinder than men. A woman is always closer to the child, treat with warmth and understanding, and not rigidity and pressure. Women really have a rather negative attitude towards such forms of influence in relationships as pressure, coercion, training and manipulation. Men, on the contrary, tend to believe that this is permissible and often useful, it is only important to determine to whom, with whom, how, when and for what purposes. Women believe that this is unequivocally bad, and if it is permissible, then as soon as an inevitable evil. Women are convinced that they themselves do not practice it — at least in relation to those they love.
For example, they never treat children like that. They never humiliate children in such an attitude towards them.
Quotes from real women:
I can’t read Karen Pryor’s book «Don’t growl at a dog, or about methods of training animals and people»: «Whatever our task is — whether to make a four-year-old kid behave quietly in front of strangers, whether to wean a puppy from chewing anything at home, to train whether a sports team…”. As soon as I see the word «force» in relation to a child, this book is no longer interesting to me, it causes protest. I have never had to force anyone, or to achieve something from someone, let alone punish.
The one who «trains» the one who wants to change the behavior of another person, and the very formulation of the problem in this way jars on me. I believe that you can only change yourself, everything else is an attempt.
I am for friendship with children. I hear something very pragmatic in the words «flexible and diverse approach». After all, in communicating with our other friends, we do not use any approaches — we just make friends and love them! And there are no tantrums in friendship …
All this is true. Real women really never pressure, train their loved ones or manipulate them in a relationship.
Real women are process workers, not result workers. Women do not set clear goals in communication, they live by feelings, they just love and care. If the mother was indignant and scolded her daughter, no mother would agree that she used the method of negative reinforcement in relation to her daughter — no, the mother was simply very upset. If a mother used a construction in a conversation: “Well, there are also moral freaks among people who seek to influence and manipulate people,” then she will never agree that she herself used a typical manipulative construction in the name of effective influence on others. Since she didn’t really set any goal, she didn’t really manipulate anyone.
A woman does all this unconsciously. She unconsciously presses — presses without noticing it. She unconsciously trains — trains, seeing at this moment something completely different. She is unconsciously manipulating — manipulating without having any awareness and experiencing at that moment just being in the process of her feelings.
In Molière’s play, Monsieur Jourdain was told that he spoke in prose. Monsieur Jourdain did not speak prose, he simply talked, but since he was pleased to know «such» to himself, he admired and agreed: «I speak prose.» The woman is told that she is manipulating and influencing. But a woman does not manipulate or influence, she simply expresses her feelings about your nasty words, and since it is unpleasant for her to know this about herself, she will never agree with this: “I do not manipulate and never influence, like other decent people, not like you!»
The linguist will say that the last phrase is typical manipulation, but have you tried to convince a woman with logic?
The nature of a woman, when she is not forced, is not interested in logic. At school or at work, if a woman is taught, she can use logic no worse than men, a woman’s intellect is all right, but as soon as a woman feels her freedom, she frees herself from logic.
That is, he uses it, but not always, but only when he wants and profitably.
A real woman is a subtle psychologist, but the psychological attention of a woman is directed not to her behavior, not to the means used and the desired result, but to her own state, to the state of her soul. And the soul of a woman next to her loved ones is really in warmth and love, her children are really angels for her, they only love them and worry about them.
Well, put on a scarf, what are you, like a bag! Listen to your grandmother, she only wants the best for you! And not gu.e. please, otherwise you won’t go for a walk at all!
Grandma does not pressure, manipulate or threaten, she only cares. And how men and other science will qualify her speech actions are their personal problems. Grandmother won’t believe them anyway, because she knows her truth: she didn’t do these nasty things, because she had only good things in her soul.
And if someone saw these nasty things in her actions, apparently, this only speaks of his spoiled soul. If all the men and all the scientists saw this, well, one can only sigh that there seem to be no normal people left at all.
morality in earnest
Dear men, don’t get mad at women when they pressure and manipulate — women really don’t see this. Dear women, don’t get mad at men when they get mad at you and tell you to stop pressure and manipulation — they are right, you really do.
If you ask the question “Who manipulates your loved ones?” at the training, in an ordinary female audience, the answers are only negative. That is, no one. If you voice the question “Be honest, are you being manipulated, suppressed or controlled by the will of at least one of your relatives — parents, husband, wife, etc.?”, the group comes to life and 90% raise their hands, stating — yes!
“Seeing a break in the eye of your neighbor, you don’t see yours below the timber …” (He will notice a speck in another’s eye, but he won’t even see a log in his own). So?
Video from Yana Shchastya: interview with professor of psychology N.I. Kozlov
Topics of conversation: What kind of woman do you need to be in order to successfully marry? How many times do men get married? Why are there so few normal men? Childfree. Parenting. What is love? A story that couldn’t be better. Paying for the opportunity to be close to a beautiful woman.