“Wives themselves provoke the betrayal of their husbands”

I have experience of relationships with men who have been married, and I am sure that there are only two types of people who do not change.

1. One who is seriously afraid of losing what he has.

2. One who has not yet met a person with whom he will lose his head and will not be able to resist temptation.

I am a woman who cheated on their wives. In the same way, I’m sure they cheated on me. And I never cared what the man I was dating said to me. If he admits that he worked late, that’s his right. If he reports that he left with friends, I wish him a great time.

I have no desire to read between the lines, torment myself with questions and spend hours discussing with a friend why he said or acted in such a way. I think I know men well.

Yes, I had a lot of novels with married people, I don’t regret anything and I don’t feel remorse. We are adults and are responsible for our actions.

Sooner or later, any relationship can get bored, but not everyone is ready to get divorced. Sex on the side does not separate the couple, as is commonly believed, but, on the contrary, often restores the family. A man becomes more tolerant of his wife, and sometimes their relationship after infidelity celebrates a rebirth.

I myself cheated when I lived in a civil marriage, and our relationship only benefited from this. Always returned to her man with a new sexual drive. I didn’t tell him because I knew it would hurt. But nevertheless, it only improved our connection.

Many people agree deep down that cheating can revive a relationship, but we cannot afford to admit it openly.

Communication on the side often arises due to routine and fatigue from a partner. From the lack of their space and the feeling of freedom. And women only exacerbate the situation and themselves push their men to this.

The most frequent complaints of those with whom I had relationships are endless female requests to confirm that he loves only her and he does not need anyone else. If he consistently does not respond to her messages, surveillance begins.

Almost no one gives men time for themselves. It seems to women that if they are not in communication with a partner every minute, he can disappear from their lives. But they achieve only the opposite effect – a man gets tired of the endless pressure and lack of freedom.

Let him go with his friends all night, let him watch football. Give him the opportunity to be alone, not to share anything with you and not to discuss your experiences every minute.

If you suffocate a man with your controlling calls, tears, and attempts to pin him into your life, then it is not surprising that he begins to seek emotional support from others. Sometimes it develops into something more. And then blame only yourself – you created this betrayal with your own hands.

Daria Petrovskaya, Gestalt therapist: “Regular cheating is an attempt not to grow up”

“Infidelity is a more complex and individual process than it seems to the reader. Sometimes this is the result of the immaturity of people in a couple, sometimes it is the result of the relationship itself. If there are no other ways to show closeness to each other, much is replaced by sex with a partner or on the side.

Intimacy means not only tenderness and love, but also honesty in the manifestation of negative feelings, the ability to meet and withstand them.

Mentioning women who provoke a partner’s infidelity, the heroine obviously describes co-dependent relationships, which can indeed include a component of betrayal. Such relationships are often a projection of parent-child relationships.

Partners (both or one of them) are trying to find the acceptance and love that was so lacking in childhood, and when they receive, the excitement disappears in the couple. Because it is impossible to want “mother” or “child”. Then a split appears, in which it is easier to go to the side for sharp impressions than to stay where it is difficult.

The position of the heroine “everyone changes” is rather infantile, reflects her personal experience and means that the balance of give and take in a couple is broken or has not even begun to form. If there is a bias in one direction: either only take, or only give, a moment of crisis comes.

And when communication has not yet been built between partners, that is, the ability to talk on various, including uncomfortable topics, betrayal is just a good way out of accumulated energy. This often becomes an illusion that the relationship has received a “second wind”. And it is very convenient to return to your beloved under your own barrel, but only until a new period of stress.

Indeed, there are also examples of couples in which one partner regularly cheats, and the second forces out this fact with all his might. And if you do not delve into personal neuroses, but look at it more broadly, then in general both adapted to each other as best they could.

And these relationships are not always bad, but they are kept not at all thanks to betrayals, which cannot be hidden for a long time, but only because the second partner finds a way to somehow compensate for the injury.

So in a dysfunctional relationship, an illusion of balance arises, the price for which can be very high – health, self-esteem, trust in a loved one.