It would seem that happiness is not in money, especially when it comes to relationships and choosing a life partner. But is it really so?
“With a sweet paradise and in a hut” — this line from the poem “Russian Song. The imitation of the Polish «Tatar poet Nikolai Ibragimov for two centuries has been a reason for sarcasm for some, and a guide to action for others. Its main message is simple: if there is love, everything else is unimportant. Is it so?
In the XNUMXth century, the opportunity to live with a lover was praised to the skies for a very prosaic reason: love marriages were rare in all social strata. And the Soviet XNUMXth century did not involve life in a palace. Panel «hut» with a five-meter kitchen was the height of dreams. And when the same “cute” met the girl, the young quickly played a wedding and gave birth to children. Nobody complained about the difficulties. If only the partner remained close — in the age of wars and prisons, this was the main value.
How to relate to this phrase today, in an era of many choices and frequent changes of partners? It is relevant at the beginning of a relationship, when we are in love and want only one thing — to be together. It doesn’t matter to us whether the chosen one is rich or poor, smart or just a striker on the tongue. When the passion subsides, we turn on critical thinking and finally think about the prose of life: “How to put a sewer into a hut?”, “How to strengthen the walls?” and “How long will we suffer in this hut?”.
The first step to a happy union is the ability to choose the person with whom you want to spend your life, based on mature ideals and values. The point here is not age, but the psychological readiness of partners — to accept themselves and others as they are, to bear responsibility, adequately perceive reality, manage their emotions, be able to be grateful …
If both partners share these beliefs and have agreed on how long they plan to live in a hut, then what will prevent it from becoming a paradise?
When two adults meet, they can realistically assess what they need in life besides passionate love. They plan their family and professional future. They are able to withstand the stress that arises during periods of job loss, financial trouble, health problems — and at the same time not reproach each other, not destroy love with claims, irritation, resentment.
It happens that the rejection of material wealth becomes a conscious choice: downshifters leave to live in a village or in Goa in order to free up time for creativity and a productive life. If both partners share these beliefs and have agreed on how long they plan to live in a hut, then what will prevent it from becoming a paradise?
When a family is created by partners with high expectations and infantile attitudes, who ignore the difference in their own goals and values, this is a project with a predictable and sad outcome. It soon becomes clear that their ideas about life are radically different: one wants to live in a metropolis and work in a large company, and the other wants to live in a small village and breed bees. He needs a business partner, and she «must give birth to a child before the age of 40.» Or the balance in relationships is disturbed when someone in a couple has to “drag the family cart” alone. And financial difficulties cannot be compensated for by care, loyalty, support.
So «heaven in a hut» is a relative concept. As, in fact, «the rich also cry.» An alliance in which partners retain their individuality and are able to find a compromise can be effective in any living space.