Contents
Winning or losing mindset: how to know which is yours
Psychology
The psychologist Laura Moratalla reveals how to distinguish those who usually see opportunities where others only see problems and difficulties
“The Winners in life they constantly think in terms of ‘I can’, ‘I want’ and ‘I am’. The losersOn the other hand, they concentrate their thoughts all day on what they should have done or what they didn’t do. This quote from Denis Waitley, motivational speaker, consultant and author of the best-seller “Seeds of Greatness” captures the essence of the winning mindset.
In fact, the winning thought is, as defined by the psychologist Laura Moratalla, a contributor to mundopsicologos.com, the one that allows us to see opportunities where others see difficulties. This thought is characterized, therefore, by being a attitude towards life that includes taking problems as challenges, trusting oneself, not being afraid of failure, looking for solutions, trying and if it is not correct, try in another way; learn from mistakes and stay motivated enough to achieve what you want.
The point is that we rarely know with certainty what the result of our actions will be, and since this is part of the dynamics of life, it will always be better, according to Moratalla advises, to face the objectives with a winning thought, since it increases the chances of success exponentially.
Is there “losing” thinking?
The opposite of the winning mentality is the losing thought, which is characterized by fixating on difficulties, not trusting oneself, allowing oneself to be limited by negative thoughts and losing motivation at the slightest difficulty. «These people take the errors as an unequivocal sign that they cannot carry out what they want, “says the psychologist.
In addition, in people with this mentality there are a series of limiting beliefs that, according to Moratalla, we could fit within the concept of “self-fulfilling prophecy”, which implies that if we believe that we cannot achieve something, we will not achieve it. «By believing that we cannot carry out something, our way of acting will go along that line and we will not use all the necessary resources, thus obtaining a negative result with respect to the objective, but which is consistent with that way of coping that has been put into practice. march ”, he argues.
7 keys to losing thinking
- 1. They are people who rarely set goals. Or if they propose to, they abandon them after a short time, without having advanced.
- 2. They tend to be pessimistic and focus a lot on problems and little on finding solutions.
- 3. They may have unhealthy self-esteem and poor self-concept, as well as a negative outlook on the world.
- 4. Sometimes, consciously or unconsciously, they limit the advancement of people around them, because they are somewhat uncomfortable with others growing up while they remain stagnant.
- 5. They can use phrases such as “I am like that”, “Why am I going to try it, if it is impossible” or “I prefer what I already know”.
- 6. They continually procrastinate in what they have to do.
- 7. Some have unhealthy habits (sedentary life, smoking, drinking, abusing television…). They are continually aware of the news and are carried away by pessimism.
It is possible that behind a losing thought there is a fear of uncertainty or the unknown. But when your decision not to set goals stems from a negative attitude towards change and not from a firm decision to stay as it is, it can be a problem, because at some point you will realize that you are limiting yourself and you may feel frustrated by it. .
It can also start from some past experience in which what was desired was not achieved and that could generate in the person, according to the expert from mundopsicologos.com, a distrust in their abilities and a flight from those feelings to which they are faced in the past.
La education received It can also trigger the losing mindset. On the one hand, an overly permissive education in which the person is not exposed to frustration, generates a very Low tolerance to frustration, so the person is rarely exposed to situations that can lead to this feeling. And on the other, an education in which the person has not been reinforced and only those things in which they have made a mistake have been pointed out, also increases the possibility of developing a “losing” thinking.
Why Mindset Influences Success
Having a winning thought predisposes you to seek Options, opportunities y solutions for what you want, in addition to allowing you to stay motivated to continue in action until you achieve what you want. “This thought enables you to look for alternatives if you encounter any difficulty, which is very beneficial, since the person does not give up in the face of setbacks, but learns from them”, clarifies Moratalla.
In addition, maintaining positive thinking has been scientifically proven to have a transformative effect on neural chains in the brain. For example, a recent study carried out by researchers from the United States, France, and Spain reported scientific evidence that intensive practice of mindfulness and positive thinking resulted in a reduction in genes that promote inflammation and increased risk of inflammation. ability to recover more quickly from stressful situations.
But it is not worth “thinking”
Maintaining a winning thought is meaningless if it is not accompanied by action. And this inevitably leads us to the fact that the first and most important thing is avoid procrastination. «There are those who wait for the perfect moment to take action, and it is essential to bear in mind that the perfect moment hardly ever presents itself, there is always something that can make us leave it for another moment. For this reason, no matter how small, you have to take a daily step towards what you want », proposes the psychologist.
A fundamental guideline for any objective is that it must be relevant for us, since what is important to our life is what really keeps us motivated.
The fact of marking temporary deadlines it is also along the lines of staying in action. These deadlines have to be studied, so that they keep the person in action, but that they are not too demanding, since this could frustrate us.
When the objective is ambitious and its execution takes a long period of time, it is beneficial to divide the objective into steps with their corresponding temporary deadlines. “This fact makes the person focus on the steps to follow and not on the final goal, since sometimes it can be overwhelming. In addition, as you go through the steps you have set, you will be aware that you are on the right track, gaining confidence in yourself and motivation to keep going, ”he says.
How to Train the Mind to “Win”
To train a winning thinking on a day-to-day basis, the psychologist Laura Moratalla proposes the following exercises:
1. Be aware of the important weight that the thinking that you keep When you have negative thoughts, don’t get attached to them. Think that thoughts come and go and that, not necessarily, they have to change our way of acting. Don’t get lost in questioning them, let them pass and stick with the ones that allow you to move forward.
2. Set a goal that is relevant to you. To find out how important a goal is to your life, answer the question “for what?” repeatedly. For example, if your goal is for your business to grow 25% this year, ask yourself: “Why do I want my business to grow 25%?” To have a greater economic benefit. And he continues: “Why do I want to have a greater economic benefit?” To have financial peace of mind and to be able to delegate functions. And he continues: “Why do I want to have financial peace of mind and delegate functions?” To have more time to spend with my family. When we arrive at the answer that involves our family, environment, our personal, work or social growth; We find the relevance of our objective, what makes us mobilize our energy to achieve it.
3. The objectives must be achievable. This is that we must set realistic goals for ourselves. It is not the same to consider the fact of passing an opposition in a week than in a year.
4. Commit to your goal. To do this, you can write it down in your agenda and / or tell someone about it. This makes you acquire more commitment than if you just think about it, remember that thoughts come and go.
5. Spend a few minutes a day visualizing yourself achieving what you want. A curious fact is that our brain does not discriminate if what you are visualizing is reality or not, with which visualization prepares you for that goal and creates the necessary connections for them to arise. ideas, so that you stay in action, so that you stay motivated. In addition, visualization helps you believe that it is possible to achieve it.
6. Celebrate every step you take, However small is. It is important that you validate your achievements, that you indulge yourself or that you dedicate some time to yourself. This is positive for your motivation and self-esteem.
7. Surround yourself with positive people. In our day to day we meet people of all kinds. Those that can help you move forward are those that maintain a positive thought, a winning thought. You can also look for success stories and model those attitudes that fit you and your goal.
8. Use motivational phrases. But choose realistic phrases, not the “you can do it all” type. Choose phrases that fit your way of being and your objective and that are not empty as before because we have a “winning thought”, but no, we cannot yet. That is why it is also so important to set achievable goals, as indicated in point 3.