Why You Shouldn’t Tell Your Colleagues: “I Need You…”

We all have to communicate with others on work matters. To achieve a good result, it is important to be able to correctly communicate information to employees, correctly formulate requests, wishes and comments. Here’s what to do and what not to do.

Perhaps you yourself more than once began your request or assignment with the words “I need you,” especially in conversations with subordinates. Alas, this is not the best way to delegate responsibilities and generally interact with colleagues. And that’s why.

This cuts off the possibility of adequate feedback

According to organizational psychologist Laura Gallagher, when addressing a colleague or subordinate with the words “I need you,” we leave no room for discussion in the dialogue. But, perhaps, the interlocutor does not agree with your order. Perhaps he or she does not have the time, or, on the contrary, has more extensive information and knows how to solve the problem more effectively. But we simply do not give the person a chance to speak (although we probably do this unconsciously).

Instead of “I need you,” Gallagher advises turning to a colleague with the words: “I would like you to do this and that. What do you think?” or “We ran into this problem. Do you have any options on how to solve it?”. This is especially important in cases where feedback from an employee affects the overall result. Do not impose your decision on the interlocutor, first let him or her speak.

It doesn’t give a colleague a chance to feel important.

“The task that you give an employee takes his time, resources. It generally affects how a person’s working day will flow,” explains Loris Brown, an expert in adult education. “But when handing out assignments to colleagues, many usually do not take into account their priorities and how the new task will affect the implementation of everything else.

In addition, “I need you” is always about us and our priorities. It sounds pretty shameless and rude. In order for employees to meet your needs, it is important to motivate them and show them how the completion of the task will affect the overall results.”

In addition, most of us have a high need for communication and social contacts, and people usually enjoy doing something that will benefit their entire social group. “Show that your assignment is important for the common good, and the person will do it more willingly,” the expert notes.

In each case, put yourself in the place of the other side – would you have a desire to help?

If colleagues ignore your requests, think about it: maybe you did something wrong before – for example, you abused their time or did not use the results of their work at all.

To avoid this, try to always clearly indicate what you need help for. For example: “The day after tomorrow at 9:00 am I have a presentation at a client’s office. I will be grateful to you if you send the report tomorrow before 17:00 so that I can go over it and add up-to-date data to the presentation. What do you think, will it work?

And if you choose the options for formulating your request or instruction, in each case put yourself in the place of the other side – would you have a desire to help?

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