Should we strive to provide children with housing? It would seem a strange question: of course yes, if such a possibility exists. But over the course of life, opportunities change, which is why there are reasons for very painful conflict situations.
60-year-old Anna Sergeevna, on the basis of the housing issue, did not just go wrong with her sons. The woman has lost the meaning of life.
“My husband and I received an apartment from his enterprise in the tenth year of our life together,” she shares her problem. – The spouse worked in hazardous work. I understood that I was risking my health, but they provided housing there. When we received the coveted order for a two-room apartment, we thought we would go crazy with joy. By that time, our son was seven years old, and we were tired of hanging around with the child in the removable corners. And Vanya went to school, he had to decide on a permanent place of residence. If only then we knew that the object of our joy would become a bone of contention in the family …
Then we lived hard, like everyone else: first perestroika, then the crazy nineties. But when Vanya turned 15, we had another child. We didn’t plan it, it happened, and I didn’t dare to terminate the pregnancy. Romka was born, a healthy, beautiful and intelligent baby. And no matter how difficult it was for us, I did not regret my decision for a second.
The sons grew up completely different from each other both externally and in character. Vanya is whimsical, restless, hypercommunicative, and Romka, on the contrary, is quiet, focused – an introvert, in a word. The older one practically did not pay attention to the younger one – there was a very big difference in age, he was not interested in the baby. Vanya lived his life: friends, girlfriends, studies. With the latter, however, it was not easy: he did not shine at school either, but at the institute, where he entered with great difficulty, he completely relaxed. After the second year he was expelled, and he went to the army with the autumn draft. And when he returned, he said that he wanted to live separately from us. No, my husband and I would then say, they say, please, son, rent an apartment and live as you like. But we decided that our parental duty is to provide our children with housing. We sold a house in the village and a car, added the accumulated savings and bought Vanya a two-room apartment. They reasoned, as it seemed to us then, reasonably: the elder was provided with housing, and the younger would get our apartment. We privatized it and immediately rewrote it to Romka.
Living independently Vanya did not benefit: he worked from time to time, still could not find what he liked. Then he contacted a woman ten years older than himself, who moved in with him with her two children. My husband and I did not interfere: my son has his own life, he is an adult guy and he must make all decisions himself, as well as be responsible for them. But the number of years lived does not yet speak of spiritual maturity. Vanya still did not have a permanent job, and his partner began to complain to him that he did not earn anything and that she had nothing to feed the children with. He, instead of deciding on a stable income, began to drink with grief. Little by little at first, and then seriously. At this point my husband and I sounded the alarm, but, alas, we lost in the fight with alcohol – Vanka became a typical household drunk. The concubine eventually moved out of him, and after a short time he drank his apartment on drink. I just sold it drunk for a penny – and was left homeless.
My husband and I were in shock: how is it, we invested the last money in his apartment, got into debt, and he lost it so easily? But we could not allow our unlucky son to become homeless, we took him to us. Romka, who was at school at that time, refused to live with him in the same room. You can understand him: the older brother is drunk, then depressed, what pleasure is there next to such a person to be? Therefore, we settled Vanka in our room.
And it was not life that began, but living hell. The elder, drunk, began to violently show dissatisfaction with life and blamed everything on … me and my husband. Like, they overlooked him, giving all their attention to the adored “last son”. We tried to object and reason with him, but a person with a clouded mind does not hear any arguments. With his brother, they eventually became enemies altogether. The husband, whose health was undermined during the years of work in hazardous production, fell ill with oncology from chronic stress and burned out in just six months. The eldest son commented on his father’s departure in the spirit that now the room has become freer. I thought I’d drown in tears, but what can I get from him, an alcoholic? However, there was another serious test ahead of me.
Romka graduated from high school, went to college and got himself a place in the hostel, although he was not entitled to it, since he is not from a different city. I was even glad of such a turn: it was unbearable to watch the daily skirmishes of the sons. However, my youngest suddenly remembered that the apartment legally belongs to him, and suggested that my eldest son and I vacate it. Vanka, he said, had a separate apartment, but why am I worse? So, relatives, vacate my house – and that’s it. And I had a chance to hear this from our adored youngest son, excellent student, winner of school Olympiads and our hope and pride with my husband!
After this “surprise” I did not sleep for several days. Then she called and asked: okay, are you angry with Vanka, who profiled his apartment, but where should I go? This is my only home! To which Romka said: “Live for now, the main thing for me is to evict my brother from my apartment. I will use this housing anyway only when no one is registered in it. ” Well, everything is clear – that means when I die. And, apparently, the faster the better. How could I have thought about this when my husband and I bought an apartment for one son, and rewrote our own for another? Why did we do it? The current situation would not have arisen if the sons initially knew that they had to take care of their housing themselves. And my husband, you see, would be alive now. But why should I continue to live, I do not know. “