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We hate work… and yet we stay at it. What are the reasons for this contradiction? And what do we do with it?
I don’t like my job, I don’t like how I feel here and how they treat me, I don’t like the people who surround me, but for some reason I don’t leave and continue to work … This state of affairs is not uncommon. “I’m not only familiar with this situation as an impartial observer, I’ve been in that position myself,” says coach Kathy Caprino, who has counseled thousands of women over the past decade who have approached her with the intention of building a more interesting and fulfilling lifestyle. professional life. – I stayed in a leadership position for two years, despite the fact that everything (that is, absolutely everything) did not suit me there. To tell the truth, I knew how wrong all this was even before I started working there, because I was present at the meeting and saw how dysfunctional this whole organization was. But, of course, “good girl” Cathy shouldn’t think badly of anyone, even though I was one hundred percent sure that I was entering a minefield.
So why do we keep working where we don’t like it at all? “The reasons are clear, but at the same time hidden. Here are five reasons that I see working every day,” says the coach.
1. “It’s good for my career”
You work for a large or well-known organization and you think that this could be useful for further career development. This was the situation at Amazon. Employees who left there said that because of the approach adopted in it, people practically “burned out” at work. There are quite a few companies known for their ruthless treatment of employees, the point of which is to weed out the idlers and single out superstars. And yet, many want to work in these companies because they think it’s a great chance to make a career and decorate your resume.
But here is the question you should be asking yourself: if I absolutely hate working in this organization, if I will hate it every day, if I will often cry and get sick, if I will feel that I am offended, hounded and not appreciated, if I will start to forget what my own ideas about my life priorities are (and it will be if my company is not interested in life-work balance), then is this really the job that I want for myself?
Some will answer with a resounding “Yes!” because this approach encourages them to overcome their own limitations, and they like it.
But many, if they are honest with themselves and do not want to betray their beliefs, will say: “No, never!”
2. We don’t blame the job, we blame ourselves.
We often make ourselves guilty. This behavior is more common in women, but men are also familiar with it. It consists in denying and devaluing our own feelings and beliefs – we tell ourselves that it is “wrong” to feel. A lot of women hate their jobs because of the way they are treated, talked to, pushed aside and not allowed to express themselves. But at the same time, they doubt whether they can feel what they feel. They are not sure if they are “right” in their experiences.
Ask yourself: “If I stop blaming myself for what I think and feel, and consider myself fully entitled to think and feel it, then what conclusions will I come to about my work, position and organization as a whole?”
3. Money and benefits are holding me back
No one can dispute the importance of money – in the society we live in, we all need money. Health insurance and other company benefits also play a role in maintaining a desirable standard of living. But there is a sad paradox in that people stay at a job that makes them sick for the sake of insurance that will cover their costs in case of illness.
Ask yourself, “Why do I think this is the only job I can get paid and insured for? Why don’t I ask what other opportunities, organizations and positions are there that will give me what I need?
Read more:
- Work that makes us happier
4. I am afraid that if I quit my job, I will ruin my reputation.
Wouldn’t resigning from such a position hurt your career? This is the thought that comes to the mind of many of those who are stuck in a job they hate. We are afraid, having left our position, to “look bad”, to leave an indelible stain on our resume.
Some feel that they have not yet succeeded sufficiently and hope to achieve more impressive results before they leave. So they remain in their gloomy place, continuing to hope that one day everything will magically change, the leadership will become more reasonable, and everything will work out in general.
Ask yourself, “Is it better to try to do something here in a role that is preventing me from succeeding, or to move on on my own terms and take a place where I can thrive?”
5. We have lost the habit of independence
“When I talk to professionals who are dissatisfied, out of touch and frustrated, 90% of the time they have lost what is critical to success and joy, which is the ability to think for themselves, inspire themselves, trust themselves and take independent steps in accordance with their values and ideas,” emphasizes Katie Caprino.
When it comes to their talent, skill, contribution to the common cause and achievements, they believe what their boss or colleagues say. They see no further than the tip of their nose and forget what they are capable of.
“Today I am outside the corporate world,” the coach continues, “I have my own business, which I run exactly the way I want. But when I was living the life of a corporation, I was exposed to the toxic environment and corporate culture that I spent most of my waking hours inside.”
The same thing happens to most professionals – they are so influenced by others that they lose independence in thoughts and actions and forget about their abilities and skills. They cease to be masters of their own lives. And this is especially damaging when they do not share the values, norms and approaches of their organization.
Ask yourself: “Are I influenced by colleagues and management in such a way that I lose the ability to control my own life and feel like a person with great talents and abilities? Can I look beyond the current situation and realize that I have complete freedom to make decisions in my own life?
If your company and work disgust you, do not wait for a crisis that will bring you to your knees (because in this case your actions will not be active, but reactive – will not be dictated by your independent decisions, but by circumstances).
Do something specific today to get rid of the job you hate.