We are afraid of the unknown. We try to insure, avoid difficulties, soften the blow. But, oddly enough, it is openness to change that helps us eventually grow and achieve success, and fear hinders development and slows us down on the way to the goal. Psychotherapist Brian Robinson talks about this.
Most people hate uncertainty. It causes anxiety and fear. Will I get a raise? Will I go to college? Will I win an award? What will the MRI study show? We wonder where the road leads, what is hiding in the shadows on the moss-covered stairs, who is behind the mask.
The inability to know what lies ahead is terrifying. Why? Because our brain considers the unknown to be dangerous. If he doesn’t know what’s around the corner, he can’t keep us safe.
When the future is in doubt, the brain begins to doubt, forces us to act to save. We lose our footing, our confidence, and all we strive for is to be safe.
Strength in certainty?
Life in uncertainty can turn into torture. To relieve tension, the brain must know what our action will lead to. Research has proven that we are more comfortable with pain than with uncertainty, because pain is beyond doubt.
The uncertainty that everything is in order at work is worse for health than being fired. British scientists found that study participants who knew for sure that they would receive a painful electric shock felt calmer than those who were told that they were 50% likely to receive an electric shock.
Whatever happens
Our brain is constantly checking and updating our understanding of the world and deciding what is safe and what is not. He is constantly on the alert, recognizes, processes everything, worries. The brain looks after us when we drive down the highway, when we look for our car in a dark parking lot, and works with us so that we can complete tasks on time.
He never stops. The brain is active even when we sleep, it works 24 hours 7 days a week, sounds the alarm if it notices something unusual or incomprehensible. When he cannot identify a stranger, an animal or a situation, he turns on the instinct of self-preservation, triggers fears. As a result, we are afraid to fly, or get into an elevator, or even leave the house.
Like an overprotective parent guarding a naughty three-year-old or browsing the social media of an eccentric teenager, the brain is always ready to sound the alarm. But just as an overprotective parent prevents a child from developing, our super-anxious brain—no matter how well-intentioned it may be—stops us from growing. When we live too long in tension, expecting something bad, we stop thinking clearly, we start to get sick, we waste our potential in vain.
Without checking anything, our uncertainty detector mistakenly made us think about the bad and ruined our lives.
The brain hates uncertainty and comes up with explanations, one crazier than the other. A friend did not reply to a message, a colleague looked down on us, we were not included in the invite list? We assume the worst and jump to conclusions. The brain will do everything to avoid uncertainty.
And after we have spoken out to the troublemaker, he or she will look at us with surprise and decide that something is wrong with our head. And in fact, that’s the way it is. We have abandoned logic in favor of unsubstantiated assumptions – all in order to achieve certainty. Without checking anything, our uncertainty detector mistakenly made us think bad things and ruined our lives.
look beyond the horizon
While the desire for certainty keeps us safe, the “cocoon” that the brain creates can become a prison, preventing us from growing and fulfilling our dreams.
In an effort to minimize harm, the brain fools us into thinking that we are safe, but actually prevents us from seeing life for what it is. It only seems to us that we adequately evaluate events and our own actions. But this is deception. In fact, the brain tries to avoid new experiences and does not allow us to learn and develop.
Only by accepting the need for change, resigning ourselves to the fact that life is unpredictable, can we discover the ability to learn in ourselves, discover the many possibilities, instead of dwelling on what is already known.
When you are faced with a previously unfamiliar plot or a new situation for you, your brain learns faster
To get rid of the fear of the unknown, it is important to believe in the worst-case scenarios. But at the same time, remind yourself that the unknown can bring unexpected gifts and it is likely that in the end everything will end well. In this way, you can increase your “susceptibility to uncertainty”, stop waiting for the worst, and finally take an objective look at the situation and evaluate the positive and negative consequences of actions and events.
Neuroscientists have found that uncertainty can benefit the brain because it learns faster when it doesn’t know what the future holds. In already known circumstances, he does not have to do anything, he simply follows the learned pattern. But when the situation changes, he has to work.
According to Yale University professor Diyol Lee, “when you are faced with a previously unfamiliar plot or situation that is new to you, your brain learns faster.” This means that it is very important and useful to leave the comfort zone in order to develop the ability to think, develop the flexibility of the mind and ultimately achieve success.
The road leading to happiness
Obviously, not everything in life we can change. For example, we cannot cancel death. And yet the world is still unpredictable, no matter how desperately we pretend it isn’t. And no matter how hard we try, not everything and not always goes according to plan.
Trying to always lay a straw, we succumb to fear and continue a fruitless war with ourselves, arguing with life instead of living it. The only way to overcome the uncertainty of life is to accept it with joy.
No matter what life has in store for us, even if it is very scary and difficult, only by being open to change can we cope with fear and anxiety. On the way to the goal, a lot of interesting and unknown awaits us. Perhaps, by looking around the corner, we will discover many unexpected and beautiful things that we did not expect to find in ourselves, and thanks to this we will be able to become stronger and win.
About the Expert: Brian Robinson is a psychotherapist and professor at the University of North Carolina.