Finding out that someone doesn’t like you is always unpleasant. How so? After all, we are good, kind and quite nice. What’s the matter? Sometimes it hurts to tears. We can’t calm down in any way and are trying to understand why we deserve hostility and whether it can be somehow corrected.
It would seem that we did not harm anyone, did not cross the road, were not rude or rude. In any case, they weren’t going to. Deep down we are sure that we are right. But the same questions revolve in my head: “What’s wrong? Did we act tactless, did we say something stupid? Someone offended, touched to the quick? What happened? What is the cause of dislike and what to do with it?
11 reasons why people don’t like us
The Persian poet Rumi wrote: “You only see your own reflection in me.” We just don’t notice it, because we only see what we want. Moreover, we sometimes provoke those whose spiritual wounds have not yet healed. And this is just one of the reasons why you can not love us.
1. We awaken painful memories in others. Perhaps we are somewhat similar to their ex or a family member with whom they had a fight. When they see us, they begin to remember unpleasant, painful things. It is quite clear: we have nothing to do with it, it’s all about them. It is impossible to influence this until people are cured of the trauma. It remains only to accept that we have become a trigger.
2. We are envied. Some dislike those who are prettier, smarter, more popular, richer, bolder and more persistent. Sometimes envy takes on ugly forms.
3. We scare others. Those who doubt themselves are afraid of the confidence of others. This quality is often mistaken for complacency. But keep on shining. Sooner or later, others will realize that they were wrong. Or not. These are not your problems.
4. We are obscenely happy. Imagine how annoying it can be! No, in fact, on what basis do you always have a good mood? There’s something wrong here, no one can be happy all the time. Some seriously think we’re faking it. This is still the same envy: to see that someone is satisfied and happy is simply unbearable. And for that they can’t stand us. Well, let. Again, this is not our problem.
5. We are too direct. Are you unable to listen to someone talking nonsense, and directly declare it to them? Many people do not like this, especially rude people and narcissists. How dare you object? Others simply want to be agreed with them in everything, and if not, they lose their temper. Whatever it was, continue to defend your case.
6. We often whine. Among us, “Eeyore donkeys” are often found. Everything is bad, life is a continuous black streak, and this should be reported to everyone who is ready to listen. If you catch yourself whining and complaining endlessly, try to still find a positive. Otherwise, not long to lose friends. There is no need to pretend that everything is fine when it is not. Just be grateful for what you have.
7. We have an unpleasant voice. Sometimes someone’s voice is annoying to such an extent that it’s just unpleasant to be around. The argument is so-so, but it’s true. Not everyone got euphonious voices, and nothing can be done about it. Do not worry. There are people in the world for whom your voice sounds like music. Chat with them.
8. We are too intrusive. There is such a thing as personal space. Closer than half a meter to most of our acquaintances, only a select few are allowed to approach. Perhaps we are not one of them. Anyone becomes uncomfortable when outsiders unceremoniously invade his personal space. This is akin to violence. If you happen to find yourself in such situations, try to take a step back. Should help.
9. We constantly interrupt interlocutors. Perhaps nothing gets on your nerves like that. Imagine what it’s like: you are telling something, and you are interrupted in mid-sentence and break in with your story. That is, as if they are trying to outshine. Perhaps you yourself have done this more than once. Watch those who behave in this way, and you will understand how disgusting it is. If you are interrupted, ask politely to let you finish.
10. We are too successful. Someone else’s success can really repel. Some secretly hate us for our accomplishments. Many people have dreams, but not everyone dares to take risks and make them a reality. If someone is successful, then he was not afraid. People don’t like it. They want us to keep our heads down and be afraid with them.
11. We are too self-absorbed. There are people who are solely concerned with themselves. They repeat how much they have done, how high they have taken off, what a wonderful house they have, a new car, a partner. Only they comprehended the essence of things. They, they and again they. It’s deadly boring. Come down for a moment from the pedestal and look around: there is a huge world around, it is full of people. No one is interested in listening to someone who endlessly talks only about himself.
Why else can we not love
Here are eleven qualities that we are disliked for, but in fact there are many more. For example, a specific body odor, an exorbitant amount of cologne, the habit of gossiping and discussing acquaintances, the way you dress, tattoos, hair color. Yes, for little. However, it is not difficult to figure out who does not love us. As soon as we appear, they immediately step aside, or emphatically do not notice our presence.
Accept that there is nothing you can do about it. As one politician used to say: “I’m not a dollar to please everyone.” Of course, this upsets, worries, even offends and confuses. But remember, most of the reasons why we are not loved have nothing to do with us. We should not change just to please someone. It makes sense to change when we ourselves understand that some of our traits are toxic.
When you learn that someone’s dislike is not your problem, it becomes easier. Remind yourself that you are a wonderful person. After all, if we worry, no matter what they think of us, we lose power over ourselves. From that moment on, our lives are controlled by others, although we are not fully aware of it. But this is our life. It doesn’t matter if someone likes us or not. The main thing is to like yourself.