A member of one of the Moscow district Facebook groups (an extremist organization banned in Russia) said that an unfamiliar man tried to force her daughter to leave the playground swing so that his children could ride. Under the post there were messages from the same man who said that the girl refused to yield and was nasty to him. Why do such stories involving teenagers always cause a storm of emotions?
Any experienced parent knows that you need to keep your eyes open on the playground. Conflicts here flare up not even from a spark, but from the mere thought that someone can offend your little blood. And even out of the blue.
And the saddest thing is that the participants in such stories, and sometimes the victims are often children of middle and senior school age. After all, they are an excellent target for attacks of any kind. They walk alone, there is no one to protect them if something happens. But sometimes they need protection no less than any two-year-old.
The playground is supposed to be played by those who have not yet grown out of the sandbox, and those who have already outgrown it are perceived as a potential threat to the younger ones. They didn’t come up with special places for older children, but they are definitely not welcome here. No longer kids, not yet adults — so, something in between. They also want to swing, but “you need to give in to the little one,” and if you disobey, you will have to deal with adults.
The child must be polite when an adult speaks to him. And obey his every request …
Luckily, no one was physically hurt during the latest incident, but we can find plenty of videos on the internet showing fights. And every time in the comments under them, battles unfold — only verbal.
Many adult commentators automatically side with adults. A bunch of speculation is immediately voiced: for sure, these teenagers offended the kids. They are so sloppy, have you seen how they run? They could even knock someone down! And they also swear, what kind of children are they after that.
In the actual discussion, the ukulele guitar, piercings and pink hair color of the girl were also mentioned — apparently, these are aggravating circumstances. One of the participants in the discussion writes: “A child cannot have a multi-colored head and piercing.” Would she say something like that out loud to a grown man with dyed locks and an earring in her nose? Unlikely. But on the Internet and about a teenager — you can …
The teenager’s mother also got it in the post: she doesn’t follow well, she educates poorly, why, after all, is the child “hanging around alone” somewhere? He must be in business, apparently: to attend a circle, clean up, transfer grandmother across the road. Must be polite when spoken to by an adult. And obey his every request.
We do not know exactly what the young heroine of the story said to the man who wanted his children to ride on the swing. Maybe she just said no, or maybe she said something more harsh. In the same way, we do not know in what form her adult opponent addressed her. We can only believe one and not believe the other. But these facts themselves are not so important: the reaction to history is much more interesting.
Teenagers can be rude. They may be prickly. They can behave defiantly — such a age!
When you read the comments on the post, you are taken aback by how easy it is for adults to blame a teenager — just like that, by definition, because «they are all like that.» No wonder teenagers treat us with apprehension and suspicion.
Teenagers can be rude. They may be prickly. They really can behave defiantly — such a age! And yet, when you politely turn to them with a request, and even on “you”, usually even the most hooligans do not refuse. Exactly the same as adults. There are exceptions, but it’s definitely worth a try. “I-messages” and a calm tone work wonders.
Much honor? Well, you have to get used to it: today the truth is that more and more people are able to say “no”. Is it bad or good? It’s definitely good for them. For those around you, at least it’s inconvenient. It is difficult to get used to the fact that a request may be denied, and this will have to be digested and accepted somehow. It is difficult to see in a child (moreover, someone else’s) or a teenager a person with his own desires. It is difficult to realize that he does not obey simply because we are older. It is difficult to learn to speak with those whom you are used to ordering.
We will hear more than once about conflicts at playgrounds: summer is ahead, vacations have already begun for many. But if we do not respect teenagers, if we believe that they should obey us simply because we are older, we will not agree with them. Only we can show them an example of careful, respectful attitude towards the interlocutor. Only we can teach them to communicate correctly even with those who do not like it. And certainly an adult should be better than a teenager to control his behavior and the manifestation of his emotions.
Teenagers, by the way, spend a lot of time on the Web: maybe, for a start, let’s try to refrain from offensive comments addressed to them? They will definitely appreciate it. And there, you see, “peace, friendship, chewing gum” between representatives of all generations will reign on the playgrounds.