Contents
Psychology
A comment made by someone who had no intention of hurting can make an impression on a person due, among other reasons, to their personal history
Feel offended It is a common feeling that we all experience from time to time, just that some more often than others …
Those who say they are offended feel belittled, humiliated, or insulted. According to Laura Rodríguez, a psychologist at the Cepsim online psychology center, the victim of an offense perceives that his self love or dignity have been injured by something or someone: «It translates into an alert response, since the person has been attacked in one way or another and can react in multiple ways: they can defend themselves and in turn attack the offender, downplaying or blaming yourself, and not even react at all.
The so-called “offended”
When we are offended by something we can ask ourselves why it affects us, what makes us feel, if it has alerted us and, above all, we can assess whether to react or not. «Defending ourselves against an offense is fundamental in many cases, but we must also choose our battles, estimate whether it is worth letting one pass, or even whether our reaction can be moderate y lead to learning», Advises Laura Rodríguez.
The psychology expert explains that when something offends us it is because it affects us and it hurts us. Apparently, plunge into that pain and analyzing those words or deeds that have been interpreted as offenses «helps us make sense of what happens to us, understand why something makes us feel this way and go further to give a new sense of emotions that have arisen after the offense ».
A comment made by someone that was not intended to hurt can make an impression on a person because of their personal history. For this reason, we must be cautious when making suggestions or criticisms and be very attentive to the reactions that can be produced. «It is important to be aware that we can offend someone close and, in fact, we do it in many moments, and not intentionally, but simply because of the other, because of their history, their personal values or their own context , interprets it as an attack and feels that he is belittled, “he warns.
Laura Rodríguez says that there are people who are more sensitive than others to offense: «We can analyze if we are more susceptible by assessing our own insecurities, the way we accept criticism, if it is difficult for us to admit mistakes, if we place the responsibility for the facts in ourselves or always in the other, etc. »
Apparently, as the Cepsim psychologist exposes, people are constantly on guard, there are increasingly polarized opinions and that makes any comment or behavior that goes against our values be interpreted as a personal offense and provoke a reaction, which can become aggressive. The main protagonists? Social networks.
“The social media They are a great trigger in these cases and a simple opinion can generate a rebound effect that translates into anger and personal attacks. The anonymity, the lack of non-verbal communication, the non-contextualization and the unfiltered expression that occurs in them increase the chances that something offends us, ”he explains.
It is convenient to reflect on that negative effect that we cause in the other with a word or an act, not judging the fact that the other person feels offended and analyzing whether we could have ensured our position from another place, with more assertiveness, more respect or in another context: «We have to be cautious when making comments that can be hurtful or to position ourselves on an issue because we can hurt someone’s sensitivity ».
Defending our opinions and ideas is essential in our interpersonal relationships. However, maintaining honest communication does not mean that we sometimes have to apologize for a comment or act that has offended the other.