We want our children to be able and know as much as possible. Often it seems to us that children’s play is entertainment, an empty pastime that could be replaced by something more useful, such as learning. But is it really so? Psychotherapist Galina Itskovich answers our questions.
Psychologies: How important is play for children?
Galina Itskovic: Play is not only important, it is necessary for the development of the child. Even if some games may seem primitive or monotonous, they serve an important function. For a child, any game is the same productive activity as work for an adult. The result of work for an adult is a product, something that he has produced. For a child, the product of play efforts is a new concept (for example, “parts are combined into a whole”, a causal relationship, and so on). In fact, the game is the first work of a small person. So it is worth treating a playing child like a scientist setting up an important scientific experiment, or a designer building an instrument according to drawings. While playing, children explore the world. By playing, they master a style of behavior that will later become their strategy and tactics in communicating with other people. A game for a child is a way of interacting with the world.
Are children able to play from birth or do they need to be taught this?
G. I .: The invitation to the first joint game usually comes from an adult who sets a task for the child. For example, smile in response to a smile. To do this, the child must learn to change facial expressions, strain some muscles and relax others. For him, this is serious work. And the adult saying «aha» also invites the child to master the art of imitation. In this very first game of all time, a child learns the complex interaction between facial muscles and vocal cords: in order to answer “aha”, you must either round your mouth, imitating a visual range, or play a sound in response to a sound that he heard, or simply stretch your lips into a smile. Then the game gets more difficult. The first interactive game is followed by “patties”, then, at 3-4 months, other games that use not only the open palm, but also fingers, like the “magpie-crow”. By the age of 5-6 months, the game of peek-a-boo appears — it helps the child, who recently discovered that objects and people continue to exist even after they disappear from his field of vision, «fix the material.»
Usually the child has some favorite toy, such as a bear or a hare. What is its meaning?
G. I .: By 9 months, the baby begins to develop an internal image of the mother and the first alarm occurs when the mother leaves. And the child learns to cope with it with the help of soft toys. They perform the function of a transitional object — which, although not a mother, still has a magical gift of comfort in the eyes of the baby. The child carries a plush animal around with him everywhere — this is how he begins to build his own world. This is his first step towards independence.
- Games for children invented by psychologists
And what’s the next step?
G. I .: A qualitative change occurs at the end of the first year. The child begins to walk. At about 12 months, the peek-a-boo game transforms into another, comparable in terms of thrill, hide and seek. Now the child shows much more initiative. His possibilities are expanding, and he is ready to invent new and new variants of the game, playing various scenarios of mysterious disappearance and appearance. Learning to play on your own is the next important step in emotional development.
Often, speaking of children’s play, they mean role-playing games: to the store, to the hairdresser, to daughter-mothers. At what age do children start playing them and why are they needed?
G. I .: The period of role-playing games is 2,5-4,5 years, when the child’s verbal repertoire is also expanding. At the same time, he plays symbolic games (this is the famous children’s “And it will be …”), which turn a bush into a house, a chair into a train, and in general anything — into anything. At this time, the child not only perceives the symbols — he begins to independently operate with them. At first, he simply imitates adults, then gradually complicates the scenario of the game and adds situations that he himself comes up with. Role play allows the child to go beyond their own limits (for example, they can try on the role of an adult professional or an older family member), perform a thought experiment and return to the safety of their room. Thus, at a new stage of development, the child repeats that first, timid separation from the mother, which marks the beginning of individuality. He builds his own symbolic world.
Why is this symbolic world so important to children?
G. I .: In this world, a child can safely play difficult situations (for example, “I was forgotten”, “I am lost”), look for different ways to resolve them. He can also play the stories that he observed in life and which cause him anxiety. Play at this age often consists of a theme with variations. It repeats the general scenario — but it can develop in different ways: “I got lost, but my grandmother found me”, “I got lost and began to live alone”). So the child develops his own approach to solving life problems. The child rehearses familiar and imaginary situations during the game, as if a musician were rehearsing before a concert.
And what should an adult do in such a game?
G. I .: The role of an adult is to support the child in the game, to encourage him. This helps the child to understand that his attempts to comprehend the situation, his opinion are valuable and deserve respect. But an adult should not insist on his own decision, even if it seems to him that he «knows how to do it right.» Because children react to this with protest, and the case can end with a refusal to play together, a loss of interest in the game, and even a tantrum. In some cases, children who seem to have accepted the conditions of an adult player react to his intervention with anxiety and a sense of helplessness.
Then, perhaps, it is better for adults to completely refuse to participate in games and not interfere?
G. I .: If an adult — a parent or caregiver — avoids playful communication or it is unpleasant for him, then the child may feel tension or bewilderment, may conclude that the area of feelings is a forbidden or dangerous zone. The child may also feel alone or feel that he does not know how to adequately express his emotions, and this ultimately leads to a decrease in his self-esteem. In addition, by forgoing play together, we leave very few opportunities for children to form meaningful bonds with us. Whereas the game helps us, adults, understand our children and develop a common language with them. The rhythm and pace of playing together may vary depending on the individual child — one processes information faster, the other needs extra time. It is important for adults to grasp the needs of the child.