On the Internet, we can find ready-made postcards and poems for any holiday. And before the New Year, the demand for them increases. But not everyone is happy with such congratulations. Why is it so and is it worth sending them to friends and relatives?
“We send congratulations to please another with our attention,” Olga Lukinova, the author of the Digital Etiquette telegram channel, begins. “When an e-card was not made by us and the text was also invented by someone else, from the outside it looks like we spared the time and attention to the one to whom it was sent. Even if you spent half a day choosing a finished postcard.”
Communications specialist Oksana Dmitrovskaya adds: “Ready-made congratulations that flooded the Internet are templates. Not only are they out of fashion, on the contrary, they are very annoying because they are impersonal.”
Before congratulating a person, it is worth considering: what does he need? What does he want?
“Before writing a congratulation, I think about what needs the person I want to congratulate has,” continues Oksana Dmitrovskaya. – What does he lack, what does he achieve, what does he dream about. Feel the addressee, and then the original words will definitely be found.
Ready-made postcards – is it always bad?
It is difficult to imagine a situation in which a ready-made congratulation can be better than a self-composed one.
Nevertheless, according to Oksana Dmitrovskaya, there is a category of users who can be forgiven for such messages. These are those for whom the new language of communication on the Internet is unusual. They think that the finished postcard is beautiful and touching.
In addition, the expert believes, such congratulations can be used as a basis, inspired by them. It is worth taking a congratulation that generally suits you and rewriting it – remove everything that hurts your eyes, does not correspond to your ideas of beauty, and leave colorful, juicy wishes, add details. Do not write a lot: let the congratulations be short, but composed from the heart.
“Even if there is no time and I am tired, I will still compose small but sincere wishes for relatives and colleagues,” the author shares. – After all, while we are typing the text, we put our warmth, our feelings into it. How can this be compared with copy-paste?
The content and form of congratulations also depend on the relationship: they are friendly or business, close or not.
“It is inappropriate to write to the boss: “My dear little man” or “Andryukha, my friend, happy anniversary! When are you posting?” — so you can lose your job, — explains Oksana Dmitrovskaya. — The same with subordinates. I would be surprised if I received congratulations from the boss: “Pretty woman, Happy New Year to you.” It is worth keeping a distance not only in life, but also in congratulations. For formal congratulations to clients, it is quite acceptable to use a template.
spark of sincerity
“Even at school, we are taught to write essays according to the model, so it seems that the template is more reliable,” says Olga Lukinova. “But when it comes to congratulations, there are no patterns. A holiday is a great occasion to talk about feelings, share warmth, sincerely thank and praise another. And if you are too lazy, think about whether you really want to congratulate this person.
How to congratulate each other is, of course, a personal matter for everyone. But it is up to us to decide how the online space around us will be – faceless or alive. One where there are fewer likes and emoticons, but more sincerity.
“For those who send ready-made congratulations, I advise you to compose your own at least once,” suggests Olga Lukinova. — I am sure that the same sincere and warm words will be sent to you in return. If you received a message that the person did not compose himself, then do not get angry, but answer him with a sincere congratulation, written from the heart, and next time he most likely will not want to send you template phrases.
By the way, some send congratulations in the format of voice messages. They pronounce sincere words with a unique intonation, convey emotions with a voice. The recipient has the opportunity to listen to the congratulation at a convenient time, and then save it. I know people who listen to congratulations when they are sad.
Hearing a voice, and it is better to see the one you like, is what many people dream of.
“This year I received a lot of congratulations on my birthday: there were more than six hundred comments under one post on Facebook,” says Oksana Dmitrovskaya. – But those who called, it was an order of magnitude smaller. And for me, these calls were more expensive than any text.
About the experts
Olga Lukinova — author of the book and telegram channel Digital Etiquette.
Oksana Dmitrovskaya — communication specialist, copywriter, author and trainer of text writing courses #Textoplank.