You have gone through the experience of building a career, creating a family, having children, divorce … Well, it’s time for new romantic meetings and the search for your happiness, – journalist Pamela Sitrinbaum is sure.
I guess that for many women who have crossed the line of forty years, this idea inspires, if not panic and fear, then certainly a feeling of discomfort. I am writing these lines because I would like it to evoke completely different feelings: joy, curiosity and anticipation of a huge number of opportunities that open up. Like that glass, half full or half empty. I am absolutely sure – in this case it is full. Having gained experience and self-confidence, knowing what true difficulties are and learning to appreciate life, right now you are on the verge of beautiful and interesting changes.
The fears of youth
From now on, we do not lose anything, but only gain. When we were twenty, it seemed that we should get everything and the best in this life. This is promoted by society and the media, and it is difficult to resist this in youth. At stake were: the best career, a wedding dress and a successful marriage, children (whom we painted as little angels, forever holding our union together). And everyone was mortally afraid of losing. Only now we stopped and thought.
We are free from the fear of “failure to succeed” that haunted us in our youth
Tired of the race and the eternal competition with each other, we want to relax and start enjoying life. We are finally free from the fear of “failure to succeed” that haunted us before.
best streak of life
We made peace with those with whom we fought endlessly in our youth: parents, ex-spouses, our own body, which seemed to us imperfect. We reproach ourselves less for being bad mothers – we found a common language with many of our inner demons. And even if they raise their heads, the feminine wisdom we have gained helps us look at them with a sense of humor. We more calmly accept our imperfections, we do not try to embrace the immensity and become winners in all spheres of life.
new romance
We have finally come closer to ourselves and our true desires, and we do not need to urgently and by all means find the Man of Dreams. We are not deceived and are not looking for a non-existent ideal. We need a close and understanding person. And we, in turn, are ready to become a sensitive partner who knows how not to quarrel over trifles, to forgive imperfections for the sake of the main thing that we value in him. We have learned to appreciate the true qualities of a person, and it is more difficult to charm us with tricks that previously, due to inexperience, we could take for sincerity.
We can easily forget about a bad date, because now we know our worth well.
We will not hypnotize the phone if for some reason it did not ring. We can easily forget about a bad date, because now we know our worth well. We know with what kind of person we are calm, easy and interesting, and we are aware of the boundaries of compromises that are comfortable for us.
This makes us different from who we were twenty years ago. We have passed certain life lessons, learned from mistakes, and we still have a lot ahead of us. As my mother said, encouraging me in moments when I was not confident in myself: “Think, because if something happens, then obviously only good.” In this case, she’s right again!
About the Developer
Pamela Cytrynbaum, journalist, blogger. He teaches at the Medill School of Journalism at Northwestern University (USA). Published in Teaching Tolerance online journal.