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Why pregnancy is condemned in Russia: advice from a psychologist
“Stay at home”, “Sweetly pregnant – now endure and keep quiet” and other statements of the stronger sex about expectant mothers.
From each iron you can hear the invocative “need to give birth.” Say, it is useless to think about a career and other nonsense when we die out. And now hundreds and thousands of pot-bellied women are going down the subway – they heard, they did it! And there … Men who fiercely hate pregnant women, they say, sit at home, do not interfere with life.
Petersburg is rumored to be the cultural capital. Everyone is ready to help. Continuous “thank you”, “please” and “hello”. It’s late in the morning, it’s already half past ten. In the subway car, moving along the red line, all the seats are occupied. Sprawling, young men weary of the St. Petersburg sun are riding there. Someone, as if on command, falls asleep when the train arrives at the next stop, someone is intently looking out for something in their smartphone. Everyone is busy with business. So much so that no one notices a very pregnant woman entering the carriage.
She timidly approaches one of the young men and asks to give up her seat. He lazily pulls one earpiece out of his ear and utters the phrase, they say, it was nice to get pregnant, now don’t complain. No, everything was said wrong, in a rude form, but we will take care of your psyche, and even for some words, the observing organs will not pat you on the head. Satisfied with himself, the man sticks the earpiece back and continues to drive on quietly. An elderly woman gives way to a pregnant woman.
None of the men sitting next to him tried to get up. Still more deeply asleep. What was it? Who raised this man? Where does this hatred for women come from?
The second story. No less sad.
The day before. The same Petersburg. We remind you, in case someone has forgotten, the cultural capital. In the popular VKontakte group, a young woman posts a post asking for help in replacing a car’s broken wheel. This is a very common request for this community. But it is the very fact that a pregnant woman asks for help that causes an unhealthy reaction. Under a hundred comments in half an hour.
Do you think everyone dreamed of coming to the rescue? That’s really a pipe. “Stay at home”, “who let you drive”, “mothers swooped down”, “who helped to get pregnant, let him help and change the wheel” – and these are the most decent comments. According to community members, the life of a pregnant woman should stop from the moment of conception. She has no place behind the wheel and in public transport, there is no place in the store, at work, on the street and even in the clinic. For decent pregnant women do not annoy with their presence, but sit at home and do not shine.
“I took my wife everywhere myself,” writes one of the “accomplices”.
– Excellent remark, – my friend Helen is indignant.
Helen is a little over thirty. The child is desirable, but she is going through the first trimester of pregnancy hard: dizziness, nausea, all the delights of toxicosis. For this reason, she does not seek to drive. The husband leaves for work two hours early and cannot change the schedule in any way. Lenochka has to get to work by public transport, where a lady without a belly, albeit in a position, is never given a place at all. Nobody offers additional leave or sick leave to a woman. And to go to work two hours before the start of the working day is, you see, very strange.
– According to the logic of commentators, I must voluntarily quit and move closer to the LCD, so as not to disturb anyone, – Lenochka sighs.
By the way, they helped the pregnant driver. But how many barrels of ointment were poured on it, and it is difficult to count.
– This is how not only men react to pregnant women, but all people. It’s just that in these cases, attention is focused on men. Such an attitude is typical for a certain type of people, they look for negativity in everything, they blame everyone for everything. But, first of all, they do not respect themselves, do not love themselves. An interesting fact, such people concentrate in one place, where they can find a ground for themselves to release the accumulated negative. And transport and generally crowded places are ideal. Just like the Internet, where anyone can hide behind a nickname or a picture from the Internet. The reason for this behavior lies somewhere in childhood. And not necessarily gaps in education. After all, the child is not only under the parent’s hat, but the street, the kindergarten, and the school also affect him. Maybe this little man was once not accepted by his classmates, and he takes revenge on everyone for this. Each case must be dealt with separately. And those who are happy treat pregnant women and everyone around them well. True, very few people consider themselves happy. In the latest research, just 14 percent said they were happy. And 86 percent have some kind of negativity in their lives.
In our editorial office, the majority agrees, it all depends on upbringing. Just a few days ago, we watched as a mother and her six-year-old son were traveling in a crowded bus at places for disabled people. The little boy sat on a separate seat and looked down at the standing women and pensioners. And my mother whispered approvingly that the child deserves to sit more than the elderly. Even in such trifles, a woman brings up selfishness in her son.
This is especially true for single mothers who completely dissolve in the child. We are ready to give all of ourselves and everyone around for the happiness of our own child. Also, this behavior is typical for boys who are raised by grandmothers. Very quickly, the grandson becomes the “navel of the earth”, for the sake of which it is not a pity to break himself into a cake.
Probably, the difficult nineties are affecting. Therefore, now in society and the Internet there is a dominance of haters of expectant mothers and young children. The first are called “mothers”, the second – “larvae” at best. Why do you think men have stopped respecting pregnant women?